The Brightside family holiday in Spain was a very relaxing affair. For a period of 10 days, I didn’t watch a television, read a newspaper, stare at a computer screen or even turn my mobile phone on. In fact, I sat by the pool, listened to music, swam, ate fantastic seafood, thought a lot and ploughed my way through the Millennium trilogy by Stieg Larsson. One hot, sunny afternoon, my relaxation was disturbed by the most awful, horrible, blood curdling screams....
I don’t know if al the clever Spanish people who study English leave the country or whether translators aren’t very well paid in Spain but here’s some amusing signs from my recent holiday in Marbella. ‘Deposit all remainders here’ - Malaga airport. I duly placed ‘2’ in the receptacle. This was left over when I was testing Norman Jeane and asked her to quickly divide 12 by 5. ‘Millionaires - Private Gentleman’s Club....
People never ask me ‘Hey Norman - where has your glamorous globe trotting lifestyle as a IT consultant taken you this year ?’ January - Bergen February - Berne, Blackpool March - Madrid, Cairo April - Slough, Macclesfield May - Lisbon June - Warsaw July - Brisbane, Perth, Broome, Darwin (holiday) August - Brentford September - Sunderland October - Swindon November - Dusseldorf December - Kitchen Table
Most of the Australians I met on my recent holiday were brilliant people; friendly, welcoming, great company and most possessed a very British style sense of humour. However, there was one element of my Australian experience that was slightly irritating; the tendency for people to ask questions. For example, if you ever purchased goods in a shop using a card, you were immediately greeted with ‘Credit or savings ?’ Another fine example was the following exchange one early morning at Brisbane airport where I attempted the seemingly simply task of purchasing four hot drinks as we waited for a short flight to Hamilton Island....
Memories of the annual summer vacation are now fading, the digital photos have been rationalised and printed, the video footage remains on the camcorder (thankfully) and the entries for ‘Holiday Highlights’ have now been received and short-listed. Norma - ‘So many memories. Catching up with friends and family, the climate, the lifestyle, The awesome scenery of the Bungle Bungles, the idyll that is Hamilton Island, sailing to Freemantle, cuddling a Koala, the endless miles of white sand and blue sky at Cable Beach....