Oracle Corporation - Redwood Shores, near California.

Oracle today announced the release of a major maintenance release of version 11g of the companies flagship database server product.

Charles Phillips took the world by surprise by making a major annnoucement a full six months ahead of Oracle Open World as he addressed the media (including 17 carefully selected representatives from the blogging community):

‘This release is the culmination of years of engineering effort aimed at delivering deterministic and reliable performance with the very highest levels of throughput. Oracle 11gR7 offers proven scalability for all Oracle applications including universal support for third party (aka legacy) applications while simultaneously reducing the cost of ownership and maximising the return on investment for all our customers.’

‘Oracle are delighted to annouce the immediate availability of Release which is now available for every single platform (well apart from OpenVMS).’

‘The release includes the productisation of a previously, hidden parameter known only to highly paid consultants. Previously, the configuration setting could only be invoked by dressing up in long white robes, waving a magic wand while dancing over sheep’s entrails and simultaneously chanting holy, mystical incantations. The parameter previously known as ‘_GO_FASTER’ is now available as a documented SPFILE parameter with possible values of ‘FALSE, SAFE, CHEAP, TRUE or TURBO.’

Wall Street analysts were staggered at the news and, as soon as they sober up after yet another Web 2.0 lunch, they will give their carefully considered verdict but the Oracle stock price is expected to rocket following the press release.

Oracle also hopes to have a back-port for Oracle 10g and the legacy Oracle 9i database server available by the end of the month.