Like most newly born WordPress.com bloggers, I keenly played with all the features and tirelessly experimented with the rich variety of horrendous 1, 2 and 3 column themes.
Then, I left home and bought a domain name from a geezer in the pub. The downward spiral continues into self-hosting and mixing with the wrong crowd. Inevitably, I stayed up late, dabbled in alcohol and drugs while installing every single plugin and widget ever created for WordPress.
You start taking ProPlus, pulling all-nighters and, unbelievably, start hacking PHP code.
Then, I grew up and became a man. I bought some slippers from M&S together with a pipe and grumbled away at the television (‘You can’t even hear what they are singing’).
The stunning Barthelme theme was left unaltered. The platform was stable but you quickly run out of ready-made, cheap blogging material. Apart from a brief dalliance with pMetrics, Google Analytics silently continues to accumulate data, statistics, lies and damned statistics. You start to sleep in the afternoons and go to bed after the News.
Even the recent announcement of a WordPress statistics plugin for self-hosted blogs couldn’t rouse me from my blissful slumber. Why bother with all that pesky download, upload, configuration and activation nonsense wasting valuable time and effort when Google Analytics will probably be revamped with colourful dashboards and a usable interface tomorrow ? And so it came pass. Yet another triumph for apathy.
Life was good. And then Scott Wallick had to spoil it by announcing a major overhaul of all his brilliant WordPress themes including V3.0 of the Barthelme theme. As the current version is an embryonic 1.2.2, you can’t resist this temptation. After months of inactivity, you now simply have to act.
So you reluctantly risk RSI by typing on a keyboard again. You have to endure the tortuous download, upload and configuration process. Then you have to use the left side of your tiny brain to merge your changes only to discover that the blog looks exactly the same and only a CSS purist could tell the difference.
Everything that is apart from the ‘Related Posts’ widget which is now completely broken. You hesitate and consider conducting an exhaustive (and exhausting) search for a WordPress alternative that is compatible with Barthelme 3.0.
Then inertia holds sway, so you give up and reinstate the perfectly functional (if outdated and unfashionable) stunning Barthelme 1.2.2 and slump back in your chair.