‘Nice weekend, Barry ?’

‘Yeah, very busy though, Dave. Very busy’

‘What did you get up to ?’

‘Saturday morning, Sandra and me went down Tesco. Bloody great queue as normal. Full of idiots with nothing better to do. It was 25 minutes before we even got into the store’.

‘What did you go for ?’

‘Nothing much. Just laughing at people asking staff for that fancy wholemeal, gluten-free flour when there’s bread on the shelves. Plus we had to get jelly and a cake for Harry’s birthday’.

‘Oh I didn’t realise his birthday was this weekend’

‘Nah, nah - not till August but Sandra’s worried that stuff may sell out when lockdown is lifted’.

‘Anyway, driving back, we noticed a ruddy great queue at that Drive-Thru Costa…’

‘Yeah - it’s complete madness isn’t it. People are…’

‘So Sandra immediately screamed at me to pull over and get in lane. We queued for 25 minutes but I’ll tell you, that iced mocha tasted like the finest champagne’.

‘Sounds like you’ve been busy’

‘Yeah - after lunch, Sandra read on Facebook that B+Q was open so we had to drive down there. Another bloody queue. 25 minutes waiting in the car park. Where do all these people come from ?’

‘What were you getting - plants, paint ?’

‘Nah. Sandra wants one of them fancy pergola things putting up so we were looking at trellis. You’re not gonna believe this though, Dave. They only had white left. No American Redwood or pine so we’re gonna have to go back next week. What’s wrong with people ? Is trellis really an essential purchase - is it fuck ?!’.

‘Oh that’s a shame. I guess you took it easy on Sunday’.

‘Sunday. Well on Sunday, Sandra wakes me up and tells me the Community WhatsApp group claims the tip is open between 9 and 1pm. Guess what, Dave - another bloody long queue of cars queuing back to the retail park. Have people got nothing better to do on a Sunday morning ? I mean - seriously !’

‘So you must have had a lot of garden rubbish ?’

‘Nah, not really. Just the old microwave we replaced at Christmas. Still, the weather wasn’t brilliant so we thought it might be a nice day out’.

‘You’ve certainly have been busy’

‘Yeah - I know. To be honest Dave, it’s be a bloody relief when this is all over and I can go back to stretching out on the couch, watching NetFlix’.