Posts in category "football"

Saturday 1 July

Get sent off. Lose to Portugal on penalties. After the game, Sven is absolutely distraught. He is inconsolable, head in hands, weeping quietly, alone in the corner. I feel guilty and go over to apologise.

'Sorry, boss. I have left myself down, let the team down, let the country down, let the fans down and I have let you down.'

'I can't believe it. 22 players, 6 assistant coaches and 15 FA officials and no-one thought to get me a leaving present'

Sunday 2 July

Fly home. Thankfully, there are no hanging effigies of me (like Becks got) but I notice that graffiti about me and 'Grannies' is still in the arrivals hall at Speke Airport.

Message on answerphone from Fergie. He wants to see me at Carrington tomorrow morning. He doesn't sound pleased.

Monday 3 July

Fergie gives me the full hairdryer treatment. He is mad about my sending off and the tangle with Carvallho. He is worried that I may have damaged my metatarsal on his testicles. Another scan.

Then he says he wants my thoughts on (another) Keano replacement. I say that I would personally prefer Carrick as he would be better for my game but Owen Hargreaves is stronger in the tackle and has incredible stamina. Fergie interrupts and says 'No. Not them. I've had a word with Moyesy and we're getting Phil Neville back on a free'.

Tuesday 4 July

Night out to watch Italy-Germany with Gary Nev and Giggsy. Call Steven Gerrard who is too 'tired'. Call Michael Owen to see if he fancies a knees-up. Slams the phone down on me. Frankie Lamps is up for it and drives 180 miles but loses his way right at the end.

Wednesday 5 July

Portugal lose to France. Text Ronny after the game to offer my commiserations and clear the air. He is inconsolable. The presidential elections at Real Madrid didn't go as he hoped. He fears he will be back at OT next season. Get Carvallho's number and call him too to sympathise 'That was never a penalty mate'.

Thursday 6 July

Ruud calls to ask when pre-season training starts. He sounds a bit strange. Maybe it's because he had a disappointing World Cup too. I tell him I'm worried that Ronny will be a ball-hog next season and never release the ball or pass to us. Ruud makes a funny noise that scares me a little. He tells me that he simply can't wait, can't wait, can't wait to lay eyes on Cristiano Ronaldo again.

Congratulations to Italy. They deserved to win as they scored two sublime goals and played the game to the bitter end in the right spirit and style.

Why - I haven't seen so many Germans lying on the turf in crumpled, disconsolate heaps since Barcelona in May 1999.

At times, the BBC made me feel I was the only person in England not supporting our new best friends, Germany.

Still, if I had just enjoyed a 6 weeks, all expenses paid holiday in Germany, enjoying the hospitality watching all the World Cup games, I would probably feel the same.

As for France versus Portugal, that's a tricky one. I can't decide who I want to miss the decisive penalty more - Onnn-Reeee or Ronaldo.

Dear Peter Crouch

Listen to Gary Neville. This time, there are no excuses. No ifs, buts or maybes. The hangovers have subsided. We have all taken those stupid flags off our cars and are now looking forward to next season. Let's face it - England simply weren't good enough.

As you had only played 60 minutes football and were the only recognised striker on the pitch, I wondered why you didn't step up for one of the first four penalties ?

Was it because you were so tired ? Was it because you lacked confidence in your own ability ?

Was it because you were going to take the final penalty ?

Then I remembered - it was probably because of memories of your last ludicrous, pathetic, laughable attempt at a penalty against Jamaica in a recent friendly.

Yours sincerely

Norman Brightside

Remember. You heard it here first.

One of the few England players who can hold his head up high after this World Cup.

He silenced the doubters (myself included) with two immense performances in midfield.

Oh and he converted a kick from 12 yards with just a goalkeeper to beat. Very unusual and very un-English behaviour. It must be the Canadian blood and the fact he plays his domestic football in Germany.

From yesterdays Press conference

[ Would Defoe have been a better selection than Walcot ? ]

'I don't think so. If I thought that I would have picked him and I have seen him 15 or 20 times this season.'

And later, Eriksson just can't help himself and, once again, shows his true colours

'The reason (for Eriksson leaving the job after the World Cup) was a newspaper coming out with lies...that is why I have sued the newspaper. It has cost me a lot of money but I am sure I will get the money back'.

Good riddance.

Did my eyes deceive me or did Jamie Carragher come on as an England substitute specifically to take a penalty in the shoot-out ?

Beckhams retirement as England captain is interesting. I suspect he will play on until he has 100 caps (currently has 94) and will then 'retire' completely from international football.

John Terry will be awarded the captaincy for two reasons. Firstly, no-one would be able to understand Steven Gerrard in press conferences. Secondly, Terry reacts in the precisely right way (openly weeping) to defeat in penalty shoot-outs.

Steve Maclaren is already tainted by association (either he agreed with Eriksson's bizarre squad selection, tactics and substitutions or he disagreed and was overruled) with this pathetic showing and the media campaign to oust him ~~will start immediately~~ has already started.

If Gerrard and Lampard's penalties were the result of hours of hard practice on the training ground, then I would hate to see their efforts without the benefit of that additional preparation.

Wayne Rooney is a excellent footballer but is an immature, young man with a volatile temperament who is not blessed with much intelligence or self restraint. It was almost inevitable that Rooney would lose his self control at some point during the tournament, particularly when carrying the hopes of the country on his shoulders and being forced to play the lone striker for two games.

Cristiano Ronaldo's intervention was also completely predictable. After all, he is playing for Portugal in the quarter finals of the World Cup. After Alex Ferguson backed Ronaldo in his row with Ruud van Nistlerooy, it will be interesting to see the consequences of this incident at MUFC.

You were good but not that good otherwise you wouldnt have needed extra time against Mexico and would have beaten the Germans in two hours of football.

Still, at least this will finally end to the (UK) media love-in about your fantastic football and the two best goals scored ever. You know; the one with 24 passes in the buildup and that superb, dipping volley.

Refreshing to see Gabriel Heinze attacking FIFA officials instead of lying on the turf and sobbing uncontrollably which is the proper way to face defeat in a penalty shootout.

So farewell then, Graham Poll.

Your lifelong dream of officiating in the World Cup final is dead.

However, you only have yourself to blame. Counting the number of yellow cards awarded and to whom is a fundamental part of your job and you failed.

Poor old Spain. After their fans roundly booed the French anthem, I was almost rooting for them to prevail over France last night. However, I dont like Luis Aragones. I think he is an arrogant racist so I was quite pleased that France beat them. Well, no, hang on a minute, actually no I wasn't that pleased because I also think Thierry Henry is an arrogant cheat.

Let's just hope Brazil beat France on Saturday.