I think it is entirely right and proper that Sir Fred Goodwin has been stripped of his knighthood.

After all, I am a shareholder in the Royal Bank of Scotland and his incompetence has cost me a significant amount of money and pushed back my retirement age to 87.

In fact, why stop there ? Personally, I find it objectionable that Freddie’s surname includes the word ‘Good’. This man is not good - in fact, he is a very bad man so I suggest he should henceforth be known as ‘Fred Win’.

Oh no. Wait hang on - the word ‘win’ also has positive connotations associated with victory and happiness (see also Charlie Sheen and ‘Winning’). This will never do so I insist the word ‘Win’ is also stripped from his legal name.

So now, the former head of RBS should simply be known as ‘Fred’.

Investigations continue into whether Fred has a middle name.