The British media may have given the impression in recent weeks that we considered the German national tootball team to be a rather workmanlike, efficient, collection of young talent coupled with experienced internationals but lacking in imagination and devoid of much creative talent.
Some less respected elements of the British media may have given the impression that England’s recent, comprehensive 4–1 defeat by Germany was somehow a freak result that was purely the result of a refereeing error that denied England an equaliser.
However, after Germany’s dismantling of Argentina and yet another comprehensive 4–0 thrashing of Diego Maradona’s team packed full of world class striking talent, we are pleased to correct our previous error and apologise for any offence caused.
We now acknowledge that Germany are the best footballing nation in the World, rivalling the wonderful Brazil size of 1970.
We would like to issue a heartfelf apology to Bastian Schweinsteiger for all those silly jokes we made about the translation of his name (‘Pig Porker’).
We would like to retract fully the ‘Typical Germans’ comment made by a certain Sir Alex Ferguson of Stretford, near Manchester after Bayern Munich had eliminated Manchester United from the Champions League.
We would also like to offer a fulsome 100% apology to Miroslav Klose who has now equalled the number of goals scored in World Cup tournaments by Gerd Muller. We withdraw fully the thinly veiled, insane accusation that Emile Heskey would somehow produce more goals during this tournament.
We also would like to clarify the endless piss taking about the oh so stylish blue polo neck shirts sported by the German manager, Joachim Loew. The blue polo neck sweater is a stylish fashion statement and reflects the smart, modern but casual manner of the way Germany plays the beautiful game. Contrast this with Fabio Capello’s featureless, dour, stiff grey suit.
Die deutsche Fußballnationalmannschaft - World Cup semi-finalists yet again. We salute you !
But we still hate Michael Ballack.