Mum and Dad

Having cool time on Crete (geddit ?) with Bazzer, Nobby, TenBob, SickNote and the three ‘S’s.

Sun = wicked. Sea = wicked. Sex = wicked (geddit ?). Loadsa Brits out here. Able to get The Sun delivered. Happy hour - all day long (nudge, nudge).

Last night, I asked a bird if she fancied a ride on my very own ‘banana boat’.

She slapped me (just like being back at home :-) then she poured sambuca all over me balls.

I went: ‘Hey - hang on love, let’s get back to me hotel room. There’s people watching here, innit ?’

Then she got a lighter and set fire to me balls. Ouch.

Bazzer said I should have said ‘OK - I suppose a shag’s out of the question then ?’ but I was diving into the swimming pool.

Will be laid up in hospital for a bit (but I won’t be getting ‘a bit’ for a while - geddit ?).

Hope to be out by Thursday as Julian’s taking us all to Knossos for the day.

Luv ya - Stuart.