During a ritual purge of ‘Inbox’, I just discovered the following email

Years ago, in a different life. I worked as an Oracle DBA for a dot com in deepest Clapham.

For reasons that now escape me, the CEO managed to get a discounted rate so we could all lie in complete darkness in a flotation chamber listening to whale music with joss sticks burning.

Performance was pretty bad and the backups never got done but we were all completely relaxed about it.