So now the whole world knows what living in London is really like.

Clamouring with a crowd of 15 cosmopolitan, wackily dressed people, pushing and shoving trying to get on a red, double decker bus having waited 45 minutes. With some idiot playing Led Zep too loud on his iPod.

Then David Beckham comes along, takes your brand new football and smashes it into the adjacent park and some bastard nicks it.