London, near England - 23 April 2008. For immediate release.
Brightside Software Enterprises are pleased to announce the immediate availability of ‘FriendOrFoe’.
Tired of being followed by those mindless idiots on Twitter, not to mention those horrid spammers ?
Tired of having to search out new friends with similar interests, sense of humour and outlook ?
Tired of being a ‘soul in isolation’ with 0 (zero) friends in the whole wide world ?
‘FriendOrFoe’ is a simple Twitter utility that will subject all Twitter ‘Follow’ requests to lengthy and vigorous inspection using sophisticated algorithms, advanced AI techniques together with analysis of ‘social graphs’ to categorise the prospective follower as:
- Spammer (Citeh or Liverpool fan filters available soon) - user will be automatically blocked and receive a DM stating ‘Don’t follow me, follow Jesus’.
- Friend - automatically follow back, sending a DM to the recipient’s mobile, changing the ring-tone to U2’s ‘I will follow’.
- Stalker - automatically followed on Twitter, FriendFeed, Ponce, Jaiku, NetVibes and footage of user streamed on live Webcam, right into your bedsit.
- Anyone, anytime, anywhere (aka ‘Promiscuous mode’) - all Follow requests are blindly followed with a DM of ‘Hey I’m pretty desperate. Fancy a drink ?’
‘FriendOrFoe’ is freely available now as a set of Greasy scripts written by 1,000 monkeys, bashing away continuously for 8 days, on a Dvorak keyboard.