Last night at approximately 18:12, I turned right onto the A4 (Great West Road) heading in an easterly direction towards Chiswick when I noticed a white police van behind me with flashing headlights and blue light spinning.

The police van pulled out to overtake me, then suddenly pulled back into my lane and pulled up to a halt to assist a broken down vehicle which had hazard lights on and was stationary in the nearside lane.

I now had to pull out to overtake the police van. The driver of the police van kindly wound down his window and waved me on my way of an apology for cutting me up with no warning.

Then I noticed a two car shunt on the other carriageway that was causing havoc with Westbound traffic on one of London’s main routes out of the city.

Thankfully, the eastbound A4 was virtually clear so I carried on. I remarked to Norma-Jean how brilliant it was for the kindly policeman to stop and help out the driver of broken down vehicle on a dark, cold night. I told her the Metropolitan Police do a superb job under difficult conditions and should be praised not continually criticised.

Then I saw the same police van screaming up behind me with the blue and white lights flashing.

With the innocence of youth, Norma Jean asked: ‘Dad - he’s not flashing at us, is he ?’

I reassured my young daughter ‘Oh no - he has just noticed the accident of the other side and is trying to get there as quick as he can so he needs to get to the next roundabout to turn around. Either that or they’re late for their tea.’

Only he wasn’t attending the accident on the other carriageway. He was pulling me over. My heart sank.

I told Norma the Metropolitan Police were a corrupt organisation, filled with officious police officers, convicting innocent people, while letting guilty criminals roam free and the Met Police are always picking on innocent, law abiding drivers and she should never, ever trust them.

Time for quick thinking. I turn the radio off (Kiss FM - Norma Jeane’s choice not mine) and ask Norma Jeane to wind the window down as we prepare for an encounter with the Metropolitan Police.

And so it begins…

‘Good evening, Sir’

‘Listen mate, enough of the pleasantries. I’m in a hurry. What the hell have you stopped me for ? Shouldn’t you be out catching murderers ?’

No, no, only joking. ‘Good evening officer.’

‘I don’t know if you’re aware, Sir but I have stopped you because you just jumped a red traffic light back there.’

‘What do you mean ? It was amber and I was stuck in no-man’s land so I had to proceed. Anyway, this is London not a country village.’

No, no, only joking. ‘Yes I know, officer. I’m really sorry about that.’

‘There were three vehicles that jumped the red light. Every single one of you illegally jumped the red light and not one of you noticed the police van sitting behind you waiting patiently at the red light.’

‘Yeah well - if that underpowered transit had got any acceleration, you could have come through behind us too.’

No, no, only joking. ‘Yes I know, officer, I’m really sorry.’

‘…and when I attempted to stop you, you then proceeded to drive away.’

‘Yes I know, officer, I’m really sorry. I genuinely thought you were attending to that two car shunt back there.’

‘Yes. Well I wasn’t. It’s just a good job you stopped this time. Barry wanted to activate the loudspeaker system and I’m sure you, or your lovely daughter, wouldn’t have wanted that, would you, Sir ?’

‘Yes I know, officer, I’m really sorry.’

‘Listen to me, Sir. We have already had three deaths on the roads in London tonight so we are just asking people to drive carefully.’

‘I see officer. I will certainly drive more carefully now.’

‘OK. I’ve warned the other two drivers so now I am warning you. Please drive carefully, Sir. Good-night.’

And with that, the flashing lights were turned off, Barry sighed with disappointment and he departed, content to let me off with a warning.

Which was just as well as I am currently on six penalty points for two separate speeding offences both incurred in Watford.

Understandable really though. You’re so relieved to get away from that awful town, you do tend to put your foot down.