Steve has an admirable habit of titling (almost) all of his posts with a line from a song.

Just went to the post office. I was in luck. Just one lady, with a baby in a pushchair, posting a small parcel. Or so I thought.

‘First class, please’

‘That’s £2.57 please’.

‘Oh - hang on. Do you think I should send this recorded ?’

[ She didn’t ask what benefits recorded delivery offered versus registered or plain first class. Even more odd was the postmaster’s reply ]

‘Yes. I think you should.’

[ without asking about the contents of the parcel or outlining what recorded delivery offers ]

‘Yes. That will be £3.74 for recorded’

Delay as he prints out the necessary orange labels

Delay as the lady takes an eon to complete the necessary labels.

Delay as the lady dutifully sticks the labels on the small parcel.

Delay as the lady coos to the baby ‘There - that’s all our jobs done. Isn’t that good ? All our jobs are done. Haven’t we both done well ?’ Well, yours might be but I am still waiting.

Further delay as the lady unbelievably plucks out a debit card to pay the massive sum of £3.74.

Coincidentally, I am posting two parcels abroad but resist the temptation to ask

‘Hmm. Do you think I should send these recorded ?’

After all my jobs are complete (didn’t I do well) in the Post Office, I need some cash as I was perilously close to annoying the eight people behind me in the queue by paying by debit card for a transaction totalling £7.68.

And so to the cashpoint. Again, I am in luck. Just one gentleman ahead of me. Or so I thought.

He completes his transaction, withdraws his card so I make my advance. I nearly bump into him as he submits his card again for another transaction. He must be checking his balance.

Again, he finally completes this transaction and I nearly walk into him as he pauses and initiates a third (well three that I have witnessed) transaction.

Finally, after what seems an eternity he turns and walks away. I catch his eye because I am wondering whether the machine has run out of cash but no. Unbelievably, he mutters

‘Nope. Doesn’t want to give me any cash today. I’ll have to try again later.’

5 seconds later, I have successfully withdrawn £100 so the gentleman was either overdrawn and polling every 30 seconds to see whether additional funds might have miraculously cleared or he was a complete idiot.