When my daughter went to secondary school, like every other dutiful parent, we religiously completed all the necessary forms and paperwork.

As part of this, I must have divulged my mobile phone number. Now this must have been intended for emergency use only because I don’t divulge my mobile number (07723 431768) lightly.

So, imagine my surprise when I received the following text message yesterday:

‘This is Hogwarts Girls’ School. This is a reminder that Autumn Term starts on Wednesday 5th September at 8:40am. Hope you had a good summer. Thank you.’

I was gratified to see the correct positioning of the apostrophe and replied:

‘Many thanks for your recent text message. I was so busy enjoying my summer holidays that I had completely forgotten the fact I attended school so your reminder was very timely. I am sure my mum probably would have reminded me at some point because she is so annoying like that. Rest assured I have purchased a brand new compass and protractor set for the challenges in the coming year. However, thus far, I have resisted my mum’s overtures to buy a new skirt that conforms to the new ‘Length Guidelines’ published in May 2007.

CU L8TR M8. Norma-Jean Brightside (aged 14 3/4)’.