What could possibly be better than a romantic city break in Amsterdam with your loved one in the glorious spring sunshine ?
That would be lovely but, unfortunately, Norma has chosen to take her loved one, Norma- Jean to Holland to indulge in culture, canals, Anne Frank, trampolining, tulips and space-cake.
Never mind. What could possibly be better than a lazy weekend dedicated to father-son bonding ? A chance to catch up in the beer garden on all the events of the week at work and school respectively. A chance to hire ‘Borat’ on DVD and laugh helplessly.
A chance to order pizza with garlic bread instead of defrosting that meal in the freezer. A chance to go to bed whenever we damn well please. A chance to play music loud. A chance for father and son to go to see a real football match, err, well Charlton v Newcastle.
That would be lovely but, unfortunately, Norman Junior III has foolishly spurned this glorious opportunity in favour of a ‘sleepover’ followed by paint-balling with his real mates.
Oh well. What could be better than a night in the pub followed by a curry with your mates ?
Nothing.