1. You use ELM on a VT220.
  2. You use Emacs and Gnus.
  3. Corporate standards force you to use Microsoft Outlook and you don’t even mind.
  4. You use Gmail for all work and personal email.


  1. Quill and parchment.
  2. XEmacs.
  3. Microsoft Word with 37 macros.
  4. Microsoft Excel for all documents .
  5. Google Documents for all correspondence.


  1. What are newsgroups ?
  2. You use Emacs and Gnus.
  3. Your company doesn’t run an NNTP server for security reasons.
  4. Newsgroups are just another data source mashed into your aggregator.

Home Page

  1. Blank - just like your mind.
  2. SourceForge
  3. Personalised Google home page.
  4. Multiple Firefox tabs that take 4 mins to initialise.


  1. Lynx on an amber VT220.
  2. Emacs and W3
  3. IE 6.0
  4. IE 7.0 - feverishly hunting for the File menu.
  5. Firefox 3.0 (alpha)


  1. Ubuntu Linux with self-modified device drivers for wireless support on an old 386.
  2. Emacs.
  3. Windows XP - to provide technical support to all your relatives.
  4. OS X because all your trendy Mac friends can’t be wrong.
  5. Vista because you really do need to manage all those photos of your cat.

Social networking tools

  1. Five-a-side followed by the pub.
  2. Emacs mailing lists.
  3. You are a fan of Ajax but only to clean the sink.
  4. You have gold membership on Flickr.
  5. You spend more on Skype than your landline.
  6. A ‘mash-up’ is when you play with your food.
  7. You finally book an appointment with your GP about your ’long tail’.
  8. You think TechCrunch is a breakfast creal.
  9. You think ‘First Tuesday’ is an investigative TV program hosted by Trevor McDonald.

Blogging platform

  1. Large text file in Emacs.
  2. Embryonic, unused corporate Wiki.
  3. Blogger Beta (101 Oracle bloggers can’t be wrong).
  4. Hosted WordPress with Snap plugin.
  5. Self-hosted WordPress with custom theme and 347 useless plugins.
  6. Irritating tendency to send humourous 3MB attachments on a Friday afternoon to colleagues, friends and family.
  7. Wooden crate in corner of Hyde Park.


  1. You have 10 years service for a large IT company and a silver pen to prove it.
  2. You are a successful, highly paid company director, err, well a mercenary Oracle contractor.
  3. You demand money to mind visiting fans’ cars at the City of Manchester Stadium.
  4. You have founded four failed startups but, undeterred, are contemplating the next.

Answers: Mainly 1 - you are stuck in an 80’s timewarp. Mainly 2 - you probably have a beard and may well be Richard Stallman. Mainly 3 - you are a technology luddite. Mainly 4 - you are a Web 2.0 officiando. Mainly 5 - you count Matt Mullenweg and Robert Scoble as close friends.