In recent weeks, this esteemed publication (Daily Excess) has been critical of Wayne Rooney’s recent performances for Manchester United.
One article ‘Rooney is finished’ questioned his future, his commitment, his mental state and his footballing ability. We ran a story that incorrectly claimed Rooney was ‘furious and livid’ at the amount of media attention, fulsome praise and PFA awards being given to his team-mate and rival, Cristiano Ronaldo.
After his performance and two wonder goals on Saturday, the Daily Excess is proud to announce an unreserved, unequivocal and heartfelt apology to Wayne (John, Paul, Ringo, George) Rooney of Wilmslow, Cheshire.
Wayne Rooney is the best footballer in England the world. Wayne
Rooney is destined to enjoy a long and trophy-filled career for club and
country. John Terry has a dodgy back so must be relieved of the England
captaincy immediately and the honour bestowed on ‘our Wayne’. Wayne
Rooney will bring the World Cup back home in 2010.
Rival publications have compared Wayne to Eric Cantona. That comparison is grossly unfair. Wayne Rooney is infinitely better than that garlic smelling, poetry reading, snail eating, karate kicking Frenchman who can’t even speak English proper.
Wayne Rooney is a fantastic footballer and an awesome young talent to be nurtured and savoured.
Until he next goes four games without a goal.