Apologies for the brief radio silence.

I was shocked and alarmed by this news on Wednesday so I have been busy purging my blog of all contentious, provocative, controversial articles and erasing every last trace of my true identity (which is Norman Brightside, 23 Baker Street, London) to an amusing pseudonym that can never, ever be traced (even by clever people from Essex). I have also taken the sensible precaution of moving house and going X-directory.

I was living in fear of a madman or worse, a Manchester City fan, arriving on my doorstep brandishing a machete after taking offence to this blog. I must admit the teenager selling dusters looked a little startled when I opened the door armed with a shotgun.

Now my identity is once again safe, normal service will now be resumed.

The best bit about the whole story - the culprit bragged about the attack back in the original chat room. The stupidity of some people never ceases to amaze me.