I had a blind date this morning at 06.55. An early start admittedly but this lady would surely be worth it. The lady’s name was Iris. I was supposed to meet her in Terminal 1 at London Heathrow.

Iris was flying in from Russia after a short courtship (19 hours) on the Internet. I even had an letter (IM) from Iris. Iris said she’d be waiting on the right before you reach the shops (which was worrying enough in itself).

So I slept downstairs on the sofa, snatched some sleep and I booked the taxi 30 minutes earlier than normal.

But, of course, Iris was nowhere to be seen. Stood up once again. Why. oh why, didn’t Iris show up ? What’s wrong with me ? Will I ever find true love ? I am disconsolate. I am a broken man.

Turns out that Iris only wants to date high flying, big earning, international travellers with BA Silver (or above) and isn’t interested in peasants in flying to Newcastle. Even if they are staying in the Malmaison.