There I was - teetering on the precipice of getting my own domain name, a hosted blog, Website, anonymous FTP server, message board, Wiki and countless other stuff I would never use.

A fully hosted solution (with unlimited bandwidth) on a Linux platform, the bleeding edge versions of mySQL, Apache, PHP and WordPress, a ‘control panel’, SSH and the prospect of sharing my wonderful set of feeds to my adoring public using Gregarius.

The domain I had set my heart on was ‘’. When I went to buy it, I discovered to my disgust that someone (a female in Doncaster) currently had control of this domain.

I didn’t even know idiots speculated on domain names so this was a terrible shock but this article was most useful. Then fate smiled upon me to overcome this minor setback.

When I consulted the ‘whois’ entry, I found that the domain had recently expired. On 16 September 2006 to be precise. How very exciting ! This surely means I am destined to succeed after all.

All I need to do now is to wait patiently until the domain is released back to the Interweb so I can register it. The only outstanding question is whether I sign up for 1, 2 or even 10 years.

I was excited. I was confident. I started to research various hosting providers in the US and the UK. People I trusted used DreamHost and were blissfully happy with the service.

I was poised with my credit card, polling the domain name every 30 seconds. I had to take compassionate leave from work citing ‘illness of someone very close to me’ in this dogged pursuit of ‘’.

In my spare 29 seconds, I busied myself researching the themes, plugins and applications I would be using in this brave new world.

Then, suddenly the status of ‘’ changed to ‘Locked’. Apparently this means that the owner has not responded to multiple emails, phone calls and final demands to renew his interest and the release of the domain name is now imminent.

Fantastic. Only Brandon Flowers can stop me now.

Then, as always, fate intervened again but this time she wasn’t smiling.

The wizzened old hag from Doncaster returned from market in Malton and finally decided to renew the domain even though it cost her more money than if she had acted two days earlier. Maybe Yorkshire folk aren’t so mean, after all.

Then the blogosphere erupted, moaning about the appalling level of service provided by Dreamhost - downtime, poor support, bad communication, slow connectivity, veiled threats, termination without due cause.

Phew. What a relief. That was a narrow escape. Fate was really saving me from a disaster.

So, on reflection, I decided to take the easy option - put my wallet away and do absolutely nothing.