Posts from August 03, 2006

Take my advice. Never buy flowers for your wife. Ever.

I am working at home, trying to finish a report. I dont have a home office so I work on the kitchen table.

For the last couple of days, two things have been slowly nagging away at me like a dripping tap.

My wireless mouse sometimes loses the will to carry on working at such a frantic pace. It squeakily demands a cup of coffee or just half an hour of 'Richard and Judy'. I stoutly refuse so the mouse pointer slowly descends vertically down the screen which is fairly irritating and virus-like.

So I took the poorly rodent for a 'Well-Mouse Executive Health Check' and the vet insisted that the mouse is in perfect health and the battery level is 'High'. I changed the battery anyway to no avail so now we have to adjourn for 'Richard and Judy' with a coffee every morning. After that, the mouse works fine.

Secondly, there was a horrible, persistent odour disturbing my concentration. I opened the windows. I opened the doors. I even had a shower and used deodorant. Eventually, I capitulated and cleaned the downstairs toilet. But the lingering smell stubbornly persisted.

Finally, I gave in, summoned my daughter and cleaned the gerbil out. The full works. Clean water, new sawdust, change of food, full steam valet and high pressure jet wash on the windows.

Phew - that's better. Sit down to check my email...

God - what is that damned smell ?

And then it struck me. Right under my nose (literally) for the past few days. A vase of (dead) flowers sitting in smelly, stagnant water.

So, next time, beautiful, colourful, fragrant flowers appear on the kitchen table and it turns out Julia brought them when she came round for coffee, don't say 'Oh - how lovely, darling' but 'Just make sure you chuck them out when they're dead.'

Last nights Money Program was about the increasing consumer demand for broadband services and the various options available from the suppliers.

Broadband services from the major players (Carphone Warehouse, BT, NTL and newcomer Sky) were all reviewed for various households with different requirements.

British Telecom has an incredibly strong brand with the older generation. One grandmother on the show simply opted for a BT Video Phone because she implicitly trusts that the service will work because 'it is from BT'.

Another family opted for 'Free Broadband For Life' from Carphone Warehouse. The kids were excited - lightning downloads, more MSN'ing, online gaming. Mum was excited - she could actually use the phone again for hours on end. Even Dad was excited - he was going to save 36GBP every single month. Quite why he was still paying 15GBP per month for dial-up wasn't clear.

In fact, they all thought it was too good to be true. And so it proved. They are still waiting for the engineer to arrive despite Charles Dunstone moving them to the top of the massive waiting list.

I have had broadband (Telewest) for so long I had to go and look it up - April 2002.

OK. I own up. Although I have superb taste in music, I cant help but hum along whenever I hear No. 2 on this list.

'Don't Fear The Reaper' by Blue Oyster Cult also falls into the same category.