I enjoyed these quotes from airline staff with a sense of humour (via Tom Kyte).

A couple of years ago, I was on a British Airways flight that was making its final approach to some anonymous airport in Scandanavia.

Quite suddenly and without any warning, the landing was aborted. The plane stopped descending, quickly started to climb, levelled out and then resumed a familiar, circular holding pattern.

I was a little perturbed but no-one else seemed bothered as though this was perfectly normal so I stopped screaming, apologised to my immediate neighbours, dabbed the sweat from my brow with a napkin and picked up my copy of ‘High Life’.

The pilot announced:

‘Ladies and Gentlemen. You have probably noticed that we have been unable to land and are in a now holding pattern. This is because the aircraft in front struck a bird during landing and the ground staff are currently clearing the runway of debris so it is safe for us to land. British Airways apologises for the delay to your onward journey and the inconvenience caused. However, please spare a thought for the poor bird.’

Of course, the last sentence was my input but what a glorious, wasted opportunity.