No - not another ‘poem’ from an angst ridden, lovesick teenager listening to Joy Division and Morrissey.

Two months after Christmas, I finally got around to playing ‘X&Y’ by Coldplay. As I suspected, this is pure dinner party music but the singles are pleasant enough on the radio when driving.

Chris Martin seems well intentioned but there is something unsettling about his intentionally unkempt hair, his children’s names and the plethora of multi-coloured wrist and finger bands he wore at Live 8.

My ‘Early Doors’ DVD’s also sits unopened, pristine in shrink wrap but will get used on the next business trip abroad (now that United’s season is over).

At least my main present from Father Christmas, a spiral bound UK road atlas, has made it to the back seat of my car but also lies unopened as yet. The main reason for this was that Pages 38/40 mysteriously disappeared from its predecessor. Not a major problem until you are asked to travel, at short notice, to a client in Aldershot. Page 38 encompasses the Camberley-Fleet-Aldershot Bermuda triangle.

Next year, I really must follow Peter Scott’s example and ask for a goat for someone who really needs it.