Posts from November 09, 2005

E-commerce at Microsoft (UK)

Dear Bill

I live in London (near England) and would like to buy Microsoft Money and Microsoft Office. My preferred method of obtaining the goods would be to download these programs from your Web site and pay using a credit card.

A small discount to reflect the reduced administration costs, packaging and margin taken by the retailer would be nice but not essential.

However, when I attempt to buy these Microsoft products in the UK, I am redirected to third party Web sites (Amazon, Dabs, PC World etc) or I can delay the purchasing decision by downloading a 60 day trial version.

Buying the products from another outlet means that I have to do extra work just to make the order. This delay will be irritating and I might even consider using OpenOffice which I can download for free and start using now.

In fact, the only disadvantage of OpenOffice is that I anticipate my children handing in a piece of homework that Microsoft Word/PowerPoint/Excel is unable to convert correctly. Consequently their fantastic effort will receive a mark of zero and a detention as the teacher will not accept 'But, Sir, my Dad is an OpenSource evangelist' as a valid excuse.

Once I have ordered from Amazon, I then have to wait for the goods to be shipped, pray that Royal Mail doesn't mislay them and the postman doesn't leave the package unattended on my doorstep in the pouring rain (just because I didn't tip him last Xmas).

When I finally receive the goods, I then have to unwrap a large box containing fresh air to finally get my hands on the CD-ROM. There is no hardcopy user guide included as all the product documentation is now available online.

Note that Microsoft Money only costs 20GBP so comes supplied in a smaller box with less fresh air than Microsoft Office which costs 90GBP and, obviously, comes in a larger box with more fresh air.

I would prefer any response from Microsoft to be in the form of a old fashioned handwritten letter instead of this new fangled email technology.

Kind regards

Norman Brightside (Mr.)

George Best

My post about Patrick Gibson reminded me of another Irish genius who, sadly, is currently critically ill in a London hospital.

A bell-boy was summoned to George Bests luxurious hotel room. He stared in amazement at the scene that greeted him. Empty, discarded bottles of champagne everywhere, a scantily clad Mary Stavin (Miss World) lying on the bed surrounded by ten pound notes.

'Tell me, Mr Best, just where did it all go wrong ?'

tweaking the blogger template

A kind lady called Sarah encountered my blog, was horrified by what she saw, and and proffered this suggestion for tweaking the standard blogger template to add the readability of long articles by adding the heading to the footer section.

Eventually, I managed to successfully apply the changes (she left a spurious space character to ensure you have a little work to do) so I hope you enjoy the changes as much as I do.

The curious case of Patrick Gibson

tv

What would you do with 1 million GBP ?

Would you buy a mansion, a yacht and a Ferrari, give up your job, go on holiday, donate it all to charity, buy your parents a new house, take over your local football club or get U2 to play at your son's birthday party ?

Don't worry - I haven't succumbed to the lure of '1001 subjects to blog about' for people with vacuous brains.

This was precisely the quandary facing Patrick Gibson in 2004 when he scooped the top prize of 1 million pounds on the ITV show 'Who wants to be a Millionaire'.

Anyway, Patrick chose to buy the complete Iain Banks' books catalogue together with DVD's of Quentin Tarantino's films and every single episode of Channel 4's hilarious TV comedy 'Father Ted'. The reason was that these were to be Patrick's specialist subjects for BBC's Mastermind quiz.

Don't laugh - Patrick was crowned Mastermind of Great Britain on last night's enthralling show ! Even better, the narrow victory for the Irish software developer prevented an Australian gentleman hoisting the impressive, crystal glass fruit bowl aloft.

Another crushing defeat for the Aussies - oh dear.