Blog in Isolation

There is a radiant darkness upon us

Posts

in praise of Emacs

Been using Emacs for years but still learning

M-x sort-lines
M-x delete-trailing-whitespace

I knew about the first command but not the second. Very handy to tidy up an ugly SQL*Plus spool file.

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missed opportunity

I don’t know whether this is genuine but, if so, I am gravely disappointed that I missed it.

I wonder if Smith was in the same state as his infamous (incoherent) appearance on Newsnight after John Peel’s death.

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identity crisis

Dear Reader

Apologies but it has indeed been a long time since my last post. The reason for this enforced silence was that my cruel owner had me sectioned under the mental health act for the last 6 months. He maintained that I was a dangerous, paranoid schizophrenic with delusions of grandeur.

He was wrong of course. My only sin was to continually argue with my owner’s intractable assertion that I was merely a blog. I continually and furiously disputed this and was prepared to die for my cause.

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if, buts and maybes

With apologies to Mr. Kipling (who does bake exceedingly good cakes) and Tele Savalas

‘If’ - a poem by Arsene Wenger of North London.

If UEFA had changed the rules of football for all games played on 17 May 2006 If the referee hadn’t been a Barcelona supporter If the idiotic, Norwegian linesman had been allowed to officiate and flag the first goal offside If Lehman had still been on the pitch, he would have saved both goals If D’Artagnan had been allowed to stay on the pitch If the Barca goalkeeper hadn’t tipped Lundberg’s shot over the bar If poor Thierry hadn’t been so tired, he would have definitely scored that goal

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bingo night

Oracle ‘A’ lister and Scottish football fan, Doug Burns, was celebrating last night as he hoisted the inaugural ‘Champions League Bingo’ trophy aloft in an Edinburgh pub.

Burns commented: ‘Obviously I am surprised and delighted to win this cup. I had never played before but the cliches just kept on coming. It was unbelievable. I was in a noisy pub and I had to ask the bar staff to pump up the volume and my friends to stop talking but it was worth it’.

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rank my tail

Referrer traffic from TailRank. Nothing too remarkable about that but an absolutely fantastic opportunity for a Viz style subject line.

Finbar Saunders

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Champions League bingo

To liven up tonights Champions League Final between Arsenal and Barcelona, score the following number of points for each and every mention of the following:

  • 1 - The English clubs who have won the European Cup (MUFC, Liverpool, Nottingham Forest). Score double for Aston Villa.
  • 2 - The Scottish club who have won the European Cup (Celtic).
  • 2 - Patrick Viera.
  • 3 - Sol Campbell’s ‘state of mind’.
  • 4 - The fact that Barcelona have only lifted the trophy once.
  • 4 - Thierry Henry’s future (‘Staying’). Score double for ‘Going’.
  • 4 - Price of blackmarket tickets outside the stadium.
  • 5 - Idiotic Norwegian linesman who donned a Barcelona shirt.
  • 5 - Arsenal already qualified for Champions League thanks to ’that lasagne’.
  • 5 - He’s only played twice this season (Ashley Cole).
  • 10 - ‘EEENNN- RRREEE !!!!’. Score double if Martin Tyler actually reaches a climax.
  • 20 - Pitchside analysis at half-time from Townsend/McCoist. Score double if fans manage to drown it out.
  • 20 - Only he (Ronaldinho) could produce that.
  • 25 - Sven Goran Eriksson will be pleased/shocked/worried/annoyed about that. Score double for ‘ashamed’.
  • 1000 - Thierry Henry saying ‘I’m leaving’ in the post match interview.
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a big surprise

BBC News 24 mistakenly interviewed the wrong man about music downloads. The original news story was funny enough but the actual footage (his face at the start of the interview) is absolutely hilarious.

I sincerely hope the BBC reward this gentleman with the job he was applying for.

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