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novel homework excuse

Another article in this occasional (and extremely popular) series.

‘Sorry about my homework, Sir. I have actually finished my 1500 word essay on the Black Death but when I went to print my work out last night, the folder called ‘My Documents’ was locked.

At first I thought my Dad was playing another of his funny, little tricks so I screamed down the stairs ‘DAD - WHY ARE YOU SO ANNOYING ?’. Then I had to wait because he was watching ‘The shirts of 66’ and could not be disturbed.

stop it, stop it, stop it

Oh no. WordPress are now promising to add import/export functionality which is the only barrier stopping me from migrating to my own hosted WordPress.org blog.

That would open up a whole new world of plug-ins, themes, statistics…

half time scoreboard

Days: 289 days
Posts: 261
Comments: 222 (209 by yours truly)
Categories: 33
Spam: 965
Adsense Revenue: 0.00 USD
Ranking: 145,413
Pages: 0

rotation policy

WordPress has a total of 37 themes. I have recently fallen out with my long standing favourite and top scorer, Regulus 2.1.3, after he blatantly deceived me over the state of his CSS injury.

Consequently, I will be implementing a rotation policy (with immediate effect) to give each squad member a fair and equitable chance to stake his claim (hand in glove).

Then I will conduct a poll of all my loyal readers (both of them) to determine the winner.

just say no

I have a video of Pete Doherty’s, err, duet with Elton John at Live 8.

It is clearly marked and I have removed the write-protect tab.

I am not a fan of The Libertines or Babyshambles.

I just want to use it to show my children that’s what drugs do to you.

blind date

Against my better judgement (see solitary comment), I uploaded my static list of feeds and RSS subscriptions to Share Your OPML.

‘Subscriptions like Mine’ tells me that my love match (with an impressive strength rating of 36.371) is none other than, Number 1, Eddie Awad.

The wedding is on Saturday July 22. Please, no presents. All donations to charity.

Obviously all loyal readers of this humble blog (from August 2005 with proof) are all invited. The remainder (Johnny Come Lately’s) are on the reserve list (i.e evening reception only).

I should know better

Watching ‘World Cup Goals Galore’ on BBC3 which also has a fantastic music soundtrack. Some great goals and memories.

Although I get thoroughly sick of the media hype and the endless analysis, you can’t help but get excited about the World Cup now.

It looks like Rooney may yet be named in the squad. It doesn’t look like Carrick will play the ‘holding role’ but Carragher might. Let’s just hope he can produce a forward pass and that he doesn’t keel over with cramp in extra time.

probably the best World Cup chart

Full fixture list, localised TV Schedules, print out and keep wallchart, pictures of the stadiums, group tables, X-rays of Wayne Rooney’s metatarsal and all of this in an Excel spreadsheet.

For a man who can’t even spell Pivot Table, this is a truly staggering achievement. Or maybe there isn’t much to do of an evening in New Zealand.

Graham Paramore, the worldwide football community salutes you.

cartoon network

Maybe Doug’s right. Perhaps WordPress isn’t a suitable blogging platform for serious technical Web journals (with 473 lines of 10046 trace) after all.

The latest theme (Solipsus 1.5) announced for WordPress is described thus:

Black & Brown design, inspired by Adult Swim of Cartoon Network.

That’s all folks !

mascot mismatch

Why did all the England players have tiny, little mascots apart from Michael Owen who had a strapping teenager who was actually taller than him ?

What with that and Crouch’s ludicrous robotic dancing, I thought I was watching a night of alternative comedy, not an international friendly.