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the wit and wisdom of Sven Goran Eriksson

From yesterday’s Press conference

[ Would Defoe have been a better selection than Walcot ? ]

‘I don’t think so. If I thought that I would have picked him and I have seen him 15 or 20 times this season.’

And later, Eriksson just can’t help himself and, once again, shows his true colours

‘The reason (for Eriksson leaving the job after the World Cup) was a newspaper coming out with lies…that is why I have sued the newspaper. It has cost me a lot of money but I am sure I will get the money back’.

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Nanny state

Golly. It is very hot today. Thankfully, the UK Government has told me the solution:

Stay out of the sun. Keep your home as cool as possible. Shutting windows during the day may help. Open them when it is cooler at night. Keep drinking fluids.

Now I would never have dreamt of thought of doing any of those things. Superb advice. May I suggest a couple of additional top tips.

Avoid alcohol. An ice-cold beer may seem very tempting but does tend to dehydrate the body. Particularly if you have 7 pints of ice-cold beer.

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WorldCup fallout

Did my eyes deceive me or did Jamie Carragher come on as an England substitute specifically to take a penalty in the shoot-out ?

Beckham’s ‘retirement’ as England captain is interesting. I suspect he will play on until he has 100 caps (currently has 94) and will then ‘retire’ completely from international football.

John Terry will be awarded the captaincy for two reasons. Firstly, no-one would be able to understand Steven Gerrard in press conferences. Secondly, Terry reacts in the precisely right way (openly weeping) to defeat in penalty shoot-outs.

latent tendencies

Sshh. Please don’t tell my therapist but BlogPulse matches the tone, content and links of this blog with ' Laura’s Playground' which is dedicated to ‘Transsexual and Transgendered News’.

I think I need to put my favourite pink panties on and sit down with a cold drink.

don't cry for me, Argentina

You were good but not that good otherwise you wouldn’t have needed extra time against Mexico and would have beaten the Germans in two hours of football.

Still, at least this will finally end to the (UK) media love-in about your fantastic football and the two best goals scored ever. You know; the one with 24 passes in the buildup and that superb, dipping volley.

Refreshing to see Gabriel Heinze attacking FIFA officials instead of lying on the turf and sobbing uncontrollably which is the proper way to face defeat in a penalty shootout.

Kurt Cobain

Maybe I am obsessed with dead pop stars but I agree with the sentiment of this blog (skip the comments).

Rule is dead, long live Rule

A long day tuning SQL queries using Siebel 7.8 and Oracle 10gR2…

We used the Siebel recommended settings (TechNote 582). We used the Oracle recommended settings.

We gathered table statistics.

We gathered index statistics.

We gathered column histograms.

We dropped statistics on empty tables (Alert 1162).

We set some miscellaneous (magic) underscore parameters to encourage CBO to use the correct index.

We poured over 10053 trace files.

We used a 15 year old, deprecated, desupported optimizer technology to reduce a complex 27 table (outer) join query with a subquery to subsecond from an hourglass.

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Taxi for Poll

So farewell then, Graham Poll.

Your lifelong dream of officiating in the World Cup final is dead.

However, you only have yourself to blame. Counting the number of yellow cards awarded and to whom is a fundamental part of your job and you failed.

nearly man

In August 2002, I visited Florida on holiday. In return for what seemed like 7 successive days at theme parks in sweltering weather, my family kindly allowed me a visit to the Kennedy Space Center which was a fantastic day out.

As luck would have it, a shuttle launch was actually scheduled during our stay so I planned to drive out to the highway to watch it. Unfortunately, the initial launch was postponed due to inclement weather conditions so I sporadically checked the TV and radio for the rearranged launch date and time.

nearly men

Poor old Spain. After their fans roundly booed the French anthem, I was almost rooting for them to prevail over France last night. However, I don’t like Luis Aragones. I think he is an arrogant racist so I was quite pleased that France beat them. Well, no, hang on a minute, actually no I wasn’t that pleased because I also think Thierry Henry is an arrogant cheat.

Let’s just hope Brazil beat France on Saturday.