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Lost - life mirrors fiction

When I visit customers, I am usually granted read-access to production servers. Mostly I am working closely with IT staff to explain what I am doing and why. I am not normally granted the passwords to administer the production system which is just the way I like it.

Otherwise, Siebel server CRMPROD1 which has been working fine for 2 years, unexpectedly core dumps, the call center is down, the business is losing 2 million dollars every minute and everyone is staring inquiringly in your direction.

Discovery launch

This superb photograph from NASA gives me a taste of what I missed.

breaking through

Finally. All that painstaking effort creating multiple splogs, scribbling my blog URL on whiteboards at every client I visit, commenting twice daily on the ‘A’ listers, spamming the newsgroups and bribing people for inbound links has paid off.

This humble blog has finally broken through the 100,000 barrier. > Day 324. Technorati Rank: 96,498 (56 links from 32 sites)

Poor old Doug (a lowly 1,389,569) needs to pull his finger out. My life is complete. Almost.

just do what you are told

This lunchtime, after getting my phone past security, I visited the toilet at the same client’s offices. I was staggered to see a sign above the urinal that had another red ‘No Entry’ sign that said:

‘STOP ! If you wish to use this space, please call Facilities Management on Ext 3131. Reference TZ 864’

So I dutifully stopped, zipped my flies up, walked to the sink and called Ext 3131.

‘Hello. I would like to use the space - reference TZ 864’

just do what you are told

This morning, I was waiting at reception in a client’s offices and was filling in time by casually reading the various notices.

One, with a red ‘No Entry’ sign, caught my eye:

‘STOP ! If you are in possession of any camera equipment, please call Group Security on Ext 4141’

‘Group Security. Alan speaking. How may I help you ?’

Good morning, Alan. Norman Brightside here. I just wanted to let you know that I have a camera.’

Wayne Rooney's World Cup diary

Saturday 1 July

Get sent off. Lose to Portugal on penalties. After the game, Sven is absolutely distraught. He is inconsolable, head in hands, weeping quietly, alone in the corner. I feel guilty and go over to apologise.

‘Sorry, boss. I have left myself down, let the team down, let the country down, let the fans down and I have let you down.’

‘I can’t believe it. 22 players, 6 assistant coaches and 15 FA officials and no-one thought to get me a leaving present’

Forza Italia !

Congratulations to Italy. They deserved to win as they scored two sublime goals and played the game to the bitter end in the right spirit and style.

Why - I haven’t seen so many Germans lying on the turf in crumpled, disconsolate heaps since Barcelona in May 1999.

At times, the BBC made me feel I was the only person in England not supporting our new best friends, Germany.

Still, if I had just enjoyed a 6 weeks, all expenses paid holiday in Germany, enjoying the hospitality watching all the World Cup games, I would probably feel the same.

ifs, buts and maybes

Dear Peter Crouch

Listen to Gary Neville. This time, there are no excuses. No ifs, buts or maybes. The hangovers have subsided. We have all taken those stupid flags off our cars and are now looking forward to next season. Let’s face it - England simply weren’t good enough.

As you had only played 60 minutes football and were the only recognised striker on the pitch, I wondered why you didn’t step up for one of the first four penalties ?

psychic powers

Remember. You heard it here first.

well played, Owen Hargreaves

One of the few England players who can hold his head up high after this World Cup.

He silenced the doubters (myself included) with two immense performances in midfield.

Oh and he converted a kick from 12 yards with just a goalkeeper to beat. Very unusual and very un-English behaviour. It must be the Canadian blood and the fact he plays his domestic football in Germany.