Posts

Baywatch in Birmingham

Hilarious [Via Pete Ashton]

from beyond the grave

Stumbled across this blog. Another young life ended prematurely. Sad. Very sad.

dose of your own medicine

I had the misfortune to visit a very angry customer today. He was having problems loading customer data into Siebel. I sat him down with a nice cup of tea and invited him to tell me all about his woes.

‘Well Norman - it’s like this you see. We used to be able to load 400,000 contacts per hour. Now performance is absolutely abysmal and it takes 12 minutes to load just 1,000.’

YCNMIU

Three, err, lucky people won the following, err, prize at the recent Oracle Partner Network day at UKOUG in Birmingham.

‘3 lucky winners have won a “Virgin Experience Voucher” to the value of £140.’

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

‘Norman. Come here. I have a crisis. Quickly.’

‘What’s up ?’

‘I have a flat tyre.’

It is dark. Mainly because it is 7.30 at night. I sigh inwardly and get a torch.

‘Hmm. You’re right. That tyre really is flat. Didn’t you notice the car pulling to the right ?’

‘No. The car was driving fine. Norman Junior did say that the car was leaning and he kept falling over though.’

How to get dugg, increase readership and earn lots of money

Engtech has some great references stressing the importance of the blog title when trying to attract readers.

However, this merely confirms what I already knew. A couple of weeks ago, I posted this entry which brought a trickle of traffic from TailRank. This, in turn, brought another article about the same news story to my attention.

My post was titled: ‘361 days to go’

The other article was titled: ‘Black Cat Thunderbolt Rocket Up The Arse’

do not disturb

Phil McIntyre is busy blogging right now.

comment abuse

Some principled bloggers leave all comments untouched afraid that any subsequent edit (no matter how seemingly trivial) would represent the slippery slope to censorship, a police state, the inevitable involvement of Amnesty International and charity gigs by U2.

Apart from a single comment by a member of the BNP, I have never had this problem until now.

A new comment on the post #45 “music for a (very) long car journey” Mate, you’re a dick A new comment on the post #485 “flowery twats” Mate, it was obviously you’re fault you twat.

Read more

YATT

Yet another trackback test.

One year and four days after I thought I understood the difference between pings and trackbacks, this short podcast shows me that I didn’t.

night out in London

Last night, I enjoyed a pleasant evening in this pub with a few friends. We watched a mediocre team in white draw with a mediocre team in orange and blue socks.

Beer arrived on a regular basis from the downstairs bar via the dumb waiter.

Inexplicably, towards the end of the evening, conversation turned to songs about the death of a father:-

• The Verve - Drugs Don’t Work
• The Streets - Never Went To Church
• Mike And The Mechanics - The Living Years
• U2 - Sometimes You Can’t Make It On Your Own
• Billy Bragg - Tank Park Salute

We finally left the pub and someone asked ‘What are the chances of finding a curry house around here ?’. We looked across the street and our prayers were answered. Weird.