Posts

rebranding Nottingham airport

Penny Coates is an overpaid idiot who thinks East Midlands Airport should be renamed ‘East Midlands Airport - Nottingham, Leicester, Derby.’

Personally, I think ‘Brian Clough Airport’ would be better because Cloughie is primarily associated with Nottingham, had links with Derby and also occasionally enjoyed a curry and a few pints in Leicester.

Also, the proposed name will mean that most people will miss their flights. By the time you’ve told the taxi driver your destination, the plane will be on the runway.

British toilet humour

I suspect the following notice in not uncommon in toilets throughout the world.

Please show consideration for others and leave this toilet in a state you would expect/hope/pray to find it.

However, this closing line is quintessentially British

A toilet brush is provided, should it prove necessary.

disk storage is cheap

I find it weird that I can carry around 4GB of disk storage in my pocket.

I find it staggering that I can buy a disk drive with a credit card that could comfortably store 95% of all the production Siebel OLTP databases I have encountered.

suggestions for Metalink

1. Tighten security for all parties by addressing this issue:

   ‘The Password must contain only ASCII alphanumeric characters.’

2. The ‘Quick Links to the Latest Patchsets’ is a great idea spoilt only by the absurd complexity in navigating the resulting pull-down.

If you possess the hand/eye co-ordination and reflexes to successfully navigate to the correct platform and the desired version first time, you could probably make a fortune playing those impossible ‘Win a cuddly lion with this crane like mechanism’ kiosks at the fun fair.

eat your own dog food

I bought my children an advent calendar each to initiate the Christmas celebrations (and shut them up).

As soon as my son got home from the supermarket, he eagerly ripped open the little door panel for 1 December and wolfed down the chocolate.

As it was already the 3rd of December, I gently enquired whether I might be allowed to sample the delicious chocolate for the 2nd December. He agreed because he truly loves his father - ‘Yes. Go on then although they do taste a bit funny’.

forever in debt to your priceless advice

Absolutely nobody writes in to ask: ‘Norman - what fabulous, chart topping, pop-tastic long playing records are on your Christmas list this Yuletide ?’

1. Snow Patrol - Eyes Open

   Pleasant enough. Why change a winning formula ? (see also R.E.M). Minor obsession with open and shut (Eyes Open, Open Your Eyes, Hands Open, Shut Your Eyes) and a nice contribution from Kate Bush Martha Wainwright on ‘Set The Fire To The Third Bar’.

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Dad's Army

Who will be next to bolster United’s strikeforce - Pele ?

I really hope Ferguson recalls Rossi from his productive loan period spent sitting on the Newcastle bench.

recycle pool #1: Oracle

Good evening. My name is ‘Google Bot’. It was a difficult (N-P complete) and very time consuming task to decide on the precise content for this article. After all, I have crawled 2.6 billion pages in the last seven days so I am a little tired. However, here is the pick of the blogosphere for November.

Oracle release 10.2.0.3 patch set (currently available on Linux only). This release includes several fixes related to the cost based optimizer. Siebel 7.8 customers using Oracle 10g should note the following bug fixes:

murky depths of the recycle pool

London, near England. 1 December 2006

Brightside Productions proudly announce the launch ‘From The Murky Depths Of The Recycle Pool.’

This innovative blog series will round up the latest happenings from the blogosphere with a sideways glance at Oracle. The blog will feature a variety of exciting formats including articles, podcasts, video blogs and live satellite links. Assuming I get that microphone, Webcam and satellite dish for Christmas that is.

testing debut at book club

I made an unexpected debut at my wife’s book club last night because because I just happened to have read the book in question and my wife (still) has a flat tyre.

We all met up at Rosemary Barnstormworth’s house and she had thoughtfully laid on prawn volavons, curry flavoured twiglets and copious amounts of wine.

Obviously, this was my first team debut so I was understandably nervous. However, I needn’t have worried as I already knew some of the ladies present and I was warmly welcomed with a large glass of wine.