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guitar hero

Over Christmas, I was drying dishes, desperately trying to avoid conversation or being dragged into a impromptu board game. From upstairs, I heard a strange sound; the (discordant) opening chords to ‘Smoke On The Water’ by Deep Purple. Repeatedly.

Nothing too surprising there as my 12 year old nephew had been given an electric guitar for Christmas.

I asked him who had taught him the three chords and he answered ‘Norman Junior’. It transpired my son has been learning to play guitar with a mate and they are progressing through ‘Monsters of Rock’ classics.

America's answer to Jade Goody

The United States of America proudly presents the candidates for Big Brother (World Series SmackDown)

[Via Marshall Kirkpatrick]

example of Zoho sheet

People never ask me:

‘Norman - why don’t you post a pretty Zoho chart of your blog posting frequency by month ?’

computer says 'No'

I could write a thesis about this but a picture will have to suffice.

thin line between truth and humour

Occasionally, I used to wonder what people thought when they were subjected to some of the material on this blog. Andrew Sherman’s comment questioning whether this story was completely true also resurrected this thought.

Most of the articles, posts, stories on this blog are based on truth. The vast majority are anecdotes recounting real-life events that actually happened to me, that my warped sense of humour finds amusing. Examples in this category:

• Axe Murderer
• Narrow Escape
• Hamsters etc
• Eat Your Own Dog Food
• Trick Or Treat
• Smoke and Mirrors
• Anything titled YCNMIU

Other posts are simultaneously technical and non-technical but merely an opportunity for a superb, ambiguous title.

Bill Gates reads my blog shock !

Great news. Bill Gates has heeded my advice and I will be able to purchase Vista online and download the media. This means that I no longer have to buy an expensive box full of fresh air from Microsoft.

Burning a DVD is probably still recommended just in case the seamless Windows upgrade fails and I discover, to my horror, that none of my drivers work any more and I have to format the hard disk in order to boot the computer.

mean hearted bombers

I am not overly surprised the Al Qaeda training camp in Afghanistan educates people about how to assemble explosive devices and avoid detection by security forces in addition to tips on identifying soft targets. The hands-on lab exercises (days 4-5) will undoubtedly assist with providing riveting content for suicide notes and how to get the soft lighting right for your exit video.

All of this hard work will be ultimately worthwhile because there is the promise of eternal martyrdom and 99 vestal virgins dressed in white lingerie. The highly prestigious Terrorist Certificated Professional (TCP) qualification will also be presented to all successful candidates on completion of the course.

two one-way tickets to Dublin, please

Earlier this week, I flew to my favourite city - Dublin.

Book the tickets online as normal. Check-in at the Aer Lingus self-service kiosk to get my boarding pass as normal.

My credit card isn’t recognised. No problem. Just use my passport instead. My passport isn’t recognised. No problem. Just enter my name instead. My name isn’t recognised. No problem. Enter my booking reference number. This isn’t recognised either. As this is the first time I have flown on Aer Lingus, I give up and queue up at the desk.

what's new in Siebel 8.0

Siebel 8.0 is the first major release since the Oracle takeover and is now imminent.

Oracle are planning a simultaneous launch of five different products (JD Edwards, E-Business, PeopleSoft and Siebel 8.0) on 31 January 2007.

Ed Abbo (VP CRM products) will be chairing the Siebel session and SearchCRM has an interesting (albeit low quality) interview podcast with Ed where he talks about new features in Siebel 8.0, CRM OnDemand and the impact of the Oracle takeover on Siebel’s development and strategy.

Rene Carayol's clever approach to taxation

I also enjoyed last night’s ‘Did they pay off their mortgage in two years ?’ about a likable creative artist from Cornwall who makes interesting, arty (and high margin) stoves from VW car parts aimed at rich people in South Kensington.

The last minute of the show was a real emotional roller coaster.

Firstly, I was delighted to hear the couple’s hard work had showed an unbelievable return of £104,000 profit but then shattered to hear they had fallen a paltry £1,500 of being able to pay off their mortgage in full.