Many years ago, I managed a set of Oracle databases for various clients. However, I was not an Oracle DBA. I was an Unix/C developer who happened to progress to Pro*C, PL/SQL and some ETL projects for data warehouses. I was an mediocre development DBA because I was a mediocre developer and I had a keen interest in performance tuning i.e. I was (am remain) a ‘glory hunter’. I was not a production DBA because I didn’t have the training, experience and discipline required for change controls and saying ‘No’. ...

Extracted the shiny new Dell PC from the tall cupboard yesterday. Pretended this PC was for ‘homework only’, would solely use Google Docs and wouldn’t connect to the Interweb. Lasted two minutes before yielding and plugged in Linksys USB wireless card. Briefly marvelled at the quality of the flat screen, then downloaded drivers for Windows Vista, followed the instructions on the Linksys technical support site and successfully connected to the burgeoning wireless network first time. ...

Inevitably, my new best friend, Michael, the Virgin Media engineer didn’t return on Friday afternoon to complete the installation of V+ or to reinstate my original, functional set top box to provide me with a TV service over the weekend. Instead, he hurriedly telephoned me to say he had transferred this issue to the ’networks team’ who would call me later to resolve it. Surprise, surprise, the ’networks team’ didn’t call me to resolve it so I had to call them (on three separate occasions) to make another appointment. ...

This afternoon, a Virgin Media engineer has arrived to ‘upgrade ’ my existing set top box to a V+ (TV drive). This is a straightforward box swap. No additional wiring or drilling is required. However, the new box failed to initialise. We both stared expectantly at the following screen for an eternity: Card Status: No T-Stream IPPV Status: BLANK He then called technical services who initiated the operation. He double checked the serial numbers of the V+ box and the card. He tried to bamboozle me with science ‘Hits must be slow today’. ...

Generally, the quality of cover versions on YouTube can vary to say the least. However, covers that purely mime to the original soundtrack are excellent as you can simply minimise the video and listen to decent music, you were forced to remove to make way for another yet another virtual machine. This cover version of ‘Aneurysm’ by Nirvana has a certain visual appeal though - the drums and cymbal, the bendy guitar and the socks.