I always had a lot of time for the outgoing Manchester City manager, Stuart Pearce. Well his press conferences and musical tastes, anyway. However, I have a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that, in seven weeks, Manchester City Football Club are going to appoint a foreign manager. This appointment will come after the City board initially go after ‘big Sam Allardyce’ and offer to rename him ‘MASSIVE’. City are shocked to be rejected by Allardyce who has already signed up at Newcastle and is merely arguing over additional ex-gratia payments in brown bags to be exchanged at Washington services on the A1. ...

Amusing story in Friday’s Torygraph about how a Sat Nav system left a poor, helpless 20- year old female student marooned on a level crossing in the face of a high speed train. Thankfully, this woman escaped with her life and will probably sue TomTom, her boyfriend and Carlos Tevez. However, Paula Ceely is so unbelievably stupid, hopefully she will manage to secure an early nomination for the Darwin Awards imminently. The online version of this story omits a crucial section - the picture of the warning sign that was clearly displayed on the level crossing that was included in the newspaper edition. ...

Please update your bookmarks and feeds with immediate effect.

Many years ago, in a parallel universe, I created a Web page that proclaimed: ‘The fastest, most comprehensive Web search engine - AltaVista’ With the increasing domination of Google, it really is difficult to remember life back in the days when AltaVista was the only search engine in town and you were even considering sinking 500 quid of your hard-earned into the rumoured IPO. Maybe one day, another startup will come along and usurp Google’s #1 position but somehow, I sincerely doubt it. ...

Henry Spencer’s unforgettable ‘10 Commandments for C Programmers' Once more, with feeling just for West Ham. ‘He plays on the left, he plays on the right…’ MUFC > England.