Recent Posts

Collin from that esteemed, well respected publication The Blog Review was kind enough to review this humble blog and raised the thorny question of an 'About' page. The absence of an 'About' page is one of Collin's pet hates and Lorelle also thinks they are very important.

While I agree that background information about the author may be interesting and contact details may be useful for establishing dialog that isn't suited for comments, I don't think that the lack of an 'About' page is necessarily a habit of an ineffectual blogger.

For example, let's build my new, shiny 'About' page by answering Lorelle's probing questions:

Who are you ? Norman Brightside (clearly a synonym so what's the point)

What do you do ? I am a technical consultant for Oracle Corporation and try to help people use Siebel and Oracle (read books) more effectively.

What are you talking about ? Look at my Categories or scan the archives. Funnily enough, customers often ask me the same question.

What will you be talking about ? Most likely the same subjects as I have talked about in the past. Subscribe to the feed if you care that much.

What gives you the right to talk about anything ? Absolutely nothing. This is purely my wooden crate in the corner of Hyde Park.

What are you doing here ? What do you mean - you weren't expecting me until tomorrow and there's no desk and computer for me.

Why are you doing it here ? Because publishing a book takes time and money.

Who the hell are you ? Now, now. Language, Lorelle.

And a couple of questions of my own:

Where are you ? London, near England. How can I contact you ? Comment. I can see your email address but no-one else can.

Someone in my family was lucky enough to receive a Sony PSP over the weekend. The Sony PSP is a fun device. The PSP can play music. The PSP can surf the Internet. The PSP can even view photos and DVDs. The PSP is also pretty good as a games console apparently.

The PSP is attractively styled in black although, bizarrely, my model came with a hideous white strap and incongruous white earphones.

I connected the PSP to my wireless network and to my amazement, it worked first time so I was able to upgrade the PSP software using 'Network Update'.

However, Web browsing is tortuous as entering text is pretty slow but the quality of the display is excellent.

Oh and the lucky person wasn't me.

When you are trying to print something in a hurry, there is nothing worse than discovering that your work of art has just been queued behind a monster 764 page document.

As you are stood by the printer wondering whether to hang around, return to your desk or to submit the job to that printer on the fifth floor, the printer LED displays 'Attention: Out of Paper'. Naturally, there is no paper in the print room so you go to the stationery cupboard for more ammunition and load Trays 1, 2 and 5.

Excitement slowly builds as printing resumes and the job slowly advances to page 369. Your heart sinks as the confounded LED lights up again. Panic and manic depression set in as you see the words 'Attention: Paper Jam - Area 6C'. You press a few buttons and follow the online diagnostics which gently lead you step by step (with pictures) to the precise location.

You have to open various doors, lift various flaps and push various plastic, purple coloured levers to perform open heart surgery on the innards of the LaserJet. Unfortunately, you misinterpret Figure 3B and scald your hand on that metal bar that gets as hot as a blast furnace.

Finally, you manage to identify the cause of the paper jam in Area 6C and extract the offending sheet carefully. You gleefully fold it up and consign it to the blue recycling bin and hope page 412 wasn't that important. You are ecstatic.

The 764 page document finally completes followed by a slight delay while the printer pauses for breath. Finally your single page is ejected. Rather inconveniently, the printer decides to switch to A3 paper just in case the intended reader is short sighted but still.

You are about to triumphantly depart and soak your hand in freezing water. The owner of 'War & Peace' rather conveniently arrives at the printer to collect his tome and says 'Oh is that my document ? I hope it didn't hold you up. Thanks a lot.'

England qualifying for the last 16 in the World Cup after those two very mediocre displays.

I was travelling on a train in Stockholm today when a man walked through the carriage selling something. Unlike London, he wasn't flogging copies of the Big Issue to feed his dog or demanding money with menaces.

Instead, this gentleman simply proceeded to place small cards on each vacant seat. He did this very quietly and politely and then returned to his original position. Despite craning my neck and desperately trying to look at the cards while simultaneously trying to look completely disinterested, I couldn't actually discern what was on offer.

This lapse was caused by an innate fear of missing my stop and spending another 75 minutes trapped, wandering aimlessly in the rabbit warren that is Stockholm Central Station. However, I managed to determine that it was either an English language school with beautiful, buxom blonde teachers or Stockholm's newest lap dancing bar.

To my amazement, after 2 minutes, the gentleman repeated his walk through the carriage, reclaimed all of the cards which had lain undisturbed by any passengers. He then disembarked, presumably to repeat the exercise on another train.

Full length version (3 mins) of the Carlsberg advert featuring some older England players with some nice touches.

I am one of those 40-50 year olds who disagree with Stowe Boyd who predicts the death of newspapers in the not too distant future.

I like newspapers. You can take them in the garden. You can take them on the train, bus and plane. Newspapers are ubiquitous, relatively cheap and convenient. Yes I could pay to download selected stories to my mobile device but I've tried that and it simply doesn't work. My eyes aren't good enough to squint at a minuscule screen.

Mind you, Stowe lives in America so, when you consider the quality of printed media ('Cat rescued from tree') being thrown into his driveway, maybe he does have a point after all.

Don't forget to check back in 10 years time to see who was right.

For the most part, unsung and largely unnoticed at Chelsea. Simply outstanding for Ghana against high quality opposition (Italy) yesterday. Continually in the action, absolutely everywhere, superb fitness levels, great tackler, decent passer, suspect temperament.

Essien is the tailor-made replacement for Roy Keane. United fans can only hope Ballack's arrival puts Essien on the bench or in the reserves and that he won't just sit there and take the money (cf. SWP).

A superb photograph of Englands (own) goal in the World Cup opener versus Paraguay.

I don't think I could have a higher opinion of any footballer than I already had of the Irishman, but he rose even further in my estimation at the Stadio Delle Alpi. The minute he was booked and out of the final he seemed to redouble his efforts to get the team there. It was the most emphatic display of selflessness I have seen on a football field. Pounding over every blade of grass, competing if he would rather die of exhaustion than lose he inspired all around him. I felt it was an honour to be associated with such a player.'

Alex Ferguson on Roy Keane after the European Cup semi-final in 1999.

[Via United Rant]