Full length version (3 mins) of the Carlsberg advert featuring some older England players with some nice touches.

I am one of those 40-50 year olds who disagree with Stowe Boyd who predicts the death of newspapers ‘in the not too distant future’. I like newspapers. You can take them in the garden. You can take them on the train, bus and plane. Newspapers are ubiquitous, relatively cheap and convenient. Yes I could pay to download selected stories to my mobile device but I’ve tried that and it simply doesn’t work. My eyes aren’t good enough to squint at a minuscule screen. ...

For the most part, unsung and largely unnoticed at Chelsea. Simply outstanding for Ghana against high quality opposition (Italy) yesterday. Continually in the action, absolutely everywhere, superb fitness levels, great tackler, decent passer, suspect temperament. Essien is the tailor-made replacement for Roy Keane. United fans can only hope Ballack’s arrival puts Essien on the bench or in the reserves and that he won’t just sit there and take the money (cf. SWP). ...

A superb photograph of England’s (own) goal in the World Cup opener versus Paraguay.

I don’t think I could have a higher opinion of any footballer than I already had of the Irishman, but he rose even further in my estimation at the Stadio Delle Alpi. The minute he was booked and out of the final he seemed to redouble his efforts to get the team there. It was the most emphatic display of selflessness I have seen on a football field. Pounding over every blade of grass, competing if he would rather die of exhaustion than lose he inspired all around him. I felt it was an honour to be associated with such a player.' ...

‘I am really sorry that we have 125 German tourists staying in the hotel.’ The waitress actually meant ‘Sorry for the delay but we have…’ but it still reminded me of Fawlty Towers and raised a smile

Psst. I have managed to beat the banning order and have now safely arrived in Stockholm (near Sweden). I evaded the hordes of police spotters at Heathrow by checking in immediately behind a screaming infant with a glum face (me not the baby). I also sported a linen jacket and a laptop to complete my cunning disguise. I was proudly telling a group of German ladies from Munich (World Cup widows) of my escapades in the confines of the hotel lift. There was a lengthy pause and they all looked really interested (or perplexed) until a Deutsche Fraulein uttered: ...

Someone recently asked me at a dinner party: ‘So, Norman, tell me what you do in life ?’. I spontaneously replied: ‘I help people read books’. The lady (for it was a she) exclaimed: ‘Oh how absolutely fabulous. You are a teacher’. ‘Err, well, no. I actually work in IT’. ‘Oh I see. You work in training. Why didn’t you just say so ?’ ‘Err, well no. I am a sort of IT consultant’. ...

Maybe a fraction too late for Doug Burns (whose Blogger blog has been recently hijacked) but WordPress have just announced the availability of XML import/export utilities, primarily for switching between self-hosted and WordPress.com blogs but may also be useful for backing up your blog and facilitating other platform migrations. Tempting, very tempting

Another criteria for the inverse law of airports. The strange thing is, you are most susceptible and sensitive to a screaming, inconsolable baby when you don’t possess any yourself. However, when you are a (recent) parent, you are too consumed with guilt and embarrassment to even care what other people think. Or, if you are an (experienced) parent, travelling abroad on business, you tend to side with Frank Skinner, who memorably said: ...