A video of ‘Jean’ (unplugged) with Sandie Shaw on vocals and Johnny Marr on acoustic guitar in Kew gardens surrounded by Morrissey, Rourke, Joyce and assorted children. I think I might wake up tomorrow morning to discover I dreamt all this. If so, I apologise profusely in advance.
When you are in a crisis meeting, and a consultant or project manager says ‘We desperately need an intervention from ABC - now !’, do you ever find yourself idly scribbling the lyrics from Interpol’s ‘Say Hello To the Angels’ on your pristine pad of white paper ? This is a concept This is a bracelet This isn’t no intervention Two hours later, in the same crisis meeting, when the same consultant or project manager forcefully asks ‘Is Freddie Geekmeister from Advanced Technical Support engaged ?’, are you ever tempted to reply ‘No. As far as I know, Freddie Geekmeister is currently a bachelor of this parish’. ...
I just booked a flight to Oslo and noticed that under ‘Meal Options’ alongside ‘Vegetarian’, ‘Non-dairy’ and various religious preferences was the intriguing option of ‘Bland’ so of course I immediately selected it. I simply can not imagine how plastic airline fare could be made any more bland. Will a cabin stewardess really waltz down the aisles demanding ‘Did anyone ask for a bland meal ?’ Stay tuned.
I was enjoying a scan through the archives of Andrew Sherman’s incisive, witty (and occasionally downright scary) blog when I suddenly thought ‘Hey Andrew - where are the links ?’ Then I realised. The hyperlinks are actually embedded in the title which is exactly where they should be. At last. After 7 months, I have finally discovered something useful you can do in Blogger which is not (currently) supported in WordPress.
Doug’s post about early memories of attending football matches got me thinking. Years ago, I was a LMTB (League Match Ticket Book) holder at Manchester United and went to every home game at Old Trafford. An LMTB was similar to a season ticket but only entitled the holder to attend League Matches with no priority for FA Cup tickets. Consequently, whenever United got to the latter stages of the FA Cup, there was a black market in the Manchester Evening News for the little numbered tokens that were printed in the matchday program. You needed a large number of tokens (including reserve games) to get a ticket. ...
Another in the recently launched and incredibly unsuccessful ‘30 second guide’ series. After learning all about data warehousing, I didn’t see Sue for a while. I assumed she was working elsewhere on a long term project. However, after 18 months I finally managed to track her down. For some inexplicable reason, she had left IT (and data warehouses behind). She lived, alone but content, in a Crofter’s cottage in a remote part of Scotland making tartan rugs. She looked a little surprised but pleased to see me on her doorstep. ...
Look at this gentleman’s very amusing profile on LinkedIn. Look at his modest, self-deprecating description - ‘I hate it when our friends become successful’. Such a refreshing change from some of the pretentiousness you usually find. This is the title of one of my favourite Morrissey songs. If only space had permitted the author to add ’especially when they’re Northern’. Now look at his employment record and the impressive list of high powered job roles he has fulfilled for major blue chips in an exciting and varied career spanning over 20 years in IT: ...
Many years ago, my horrid manager refused me a wonderful opportunity to go on an all expenses paid training course all about data warehousing in some exotic location. I was moaning about this to a colleague over lunch. She was an ex-teacher and happened to work in the prestigious data warehousing consultancy group. ‘There, there Norman. Don’t cry. Tell me exactly what you wanted to learn from this course ?’ ...
Prizegiving ceremonies at school are a similar experience when you are a parent as when you were a child. The event seems to last a long time. The tedium is punctuated by the odd, brief moment of excitement when little Norma (or someone loosely known to you) walks up to receive her book token. Your mind starts to wander asking such important questions as: ‘What exactly did Christine Baverstock-Davis do to merit the award of “Outstanding effort in ‘resistant materials” ?’. Did she spend countless hours after school bashing iron, steel and rocks with hammers, mallets and pickaxes ?’ You start to wonder why your wife neglected to attend this years 3 hour marathon in stifling heat. Must remind her that it’s her turn next year. ...
Occasionally, I have had the odd dig at the parochial, inward looking nature of the US TV and printed media. However, last week, the UK media commemorated the first anniversary of the July bombings in London with endless pages of words and pictures together with and hours of footage, analysis, interviews, documentaries and coverage of yet another two minute silence. Since August 1997, a nation that was once renown for a ‘stiff upper lip’ and dignity has somehow been transformed into 60 million professional grievers and bereavement counsellors. ...