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The Metro is a free, lightweight, disposable newspaper, aimed at commuters, which is solely funded by advertising revenues. So lightweight, you can finish it by the time you reach Waterloo but at least it saves you the embarrassment of staring at your neighbour for 27 minutes.

Last month, The Metro reported the exciting news that a quarter of all UK internet users maintain a blog. Hurrah !

However, the veracity of this claim is immediately subverted by the statement that '59% of bloggers choose to make it public.' So, this implies that 41% of UK bloggers are blogging in private, by invitation only, to friends and family or in complete isolation. I know the British are reserved but that is simply ridiculous.

The article then goes on to claim 'growing numbers of writers see [blogs] ... as a way to get their voice heard.' A little difficult to get your voice heard if your blog is not even published on the internet.

I don't think this superb journalism coupled with the deep, considered incisive analysis is going to challenge Dave Sifry's ' State of the Blogosphere'.

PS. Memo to self: Idea for Dragon's Den - a decent portal for UK bloggers.

It really is in a right old state. I have a Netvibes tab called UK. It has a solitary, uninspiring, dry news feed from the BBC.

Don't get me wrong. I enjoy a lot of blogs from UK authors. Some are (Scottish) technical types in the Oracle blogging community with a sense of humour while others are Brits who have moved to foreign shores or very talented and dedicated WordPress techies.

Clearly, this is highly unsatisfactory and slightly underwhelming. I am certain there must be a wealth of witty, interesting, fascinating blogs out there written by British people but I just can't find them.

So - come on - where are you all hiding ?

Norman Brightside, a little known UK blogger from the London (near England), was reeling yesterday from a cataclysmic, violent (yet unwanted) backlash of media inspired attention from Web 2.0 types in response to the impromptu and inadvertent release of 1367 GB of search data (including IP addresses, referrer data, explicit search terms and agent identifiers) from the Web server farm that hosts his incredibly popular blog.

Brightside is an IT genius who had developed his Web server tracking technology using advanced AI techniques to include the screen name of the AOL user, the room they were actually surfing from, what they were actually thinking, the strength of each individual key press together with the facial expression used when typing in search terms.

Data Mining analysts have been busily crunching the data continuously for 37 hours using Oracle Mega-Grid technology and a bank of powerful Cray Supercomputers. Details have been forwarded to Interpol and, in a curious twist, Blackburn Football Club, who are now being linked with Ashley Cole.

Norman's mum, Norma Jean was distraught:

'Oh I can't believe our stupid son, Norman, has brought shame, embarrassment and pestilence upon the Brightside family name. I knew he had a blog but how could he have been so stupid ?'

Although the data was de-personalised, analysts predicted that simple business intelligence and sophisticated cryptography techniques (1='A', 2='B' etc) would quickly reveal the end user issuing each individual search query, who could then be subject to prosecution, hanging and the immediate loss of his Telewest subscription.

Norman Brightside has gone into hiding and withdrawn the data sets from all public Web sites. He issued the following short press release from The Priory Clinic, London.

'I'm really, really sorry. I don't know what came over me. I simply didn't think my blog had that much traffic. I think there must be a problem with the WordPress statistics which seem to be under-reporting. My only defence is that my error might have been caused by the excessive heat in my hotel room. I have carefully backed up and deleted all the data now.'

However, high bandwidth mirror sites, located all around the world, are thought to still contain multiple copies of the full, unadulterated search data.

And finally, if you don't want to risk imprisonment, death or a call from the NSA, here is that earth shattering search data published in full.

65.214.44.29 - - [07/Aug/2006:01:20:17 +0100] "GET /blog/ HTTP/1.1" 304 106 "Why didn't United buy Own Hargreaves" "Mozilla/5.0" 72.30.98.202 - - [07/Aug/2006:01:21:57 +0100] "GET /blog/ HTTP/1.1" 304 106 "Who is Norman Brightside" "Opera 9.0 Beta 2"

After two months and two days, the music has stopped, the theme rotation carousel has travelled full circle and finally come to a halt.

WordPress.com offers a total of 40 themes (37 when I started) and I have experimented and laboriously captured screenshots of every single one.

I have tried out all the WP themes as they became available but it was interesting to live with each theme for a day or so.

My personal favourites were:

Andreas04 - I don't normally like three column themes but this was an notable exception. Light - simple, effective theme. If only it was a little wider.

Regulus - still probably my favourite (just) which rather negates the point of the whole pointless exercise. The header image clinches it. You never forget your first love.

Rubric - great looking theme with focus on the text but I feel Lorelle has made this theme her own.

Sandbox - a building block for DIY enthusiasts.

White As Milk - clean, minimalist look but narrow text.

And my hall of shame:

Banana Smoothie - not for everyone but undeniably very distinctive. Flower Power - not sure why this theme only uses half the screen.

Sweet Blossoms - too much colour, not enough screen.

I guess my perfect theme would be a two column, minimalist theme with an emphasis on the article text. In fact, Scott's Wallick's plaintxt theme is pretty close to perfection.

I guess I always could shell out 15 USD and build it myself on WordPress using the recently launched custom CSS.

Alternatively, I could just pay up and get my own hosted WordPress blog with complete control over everything.

So, review the Flickr set and cast your vote now.

RSS readers - don't sneer from the sidelines but tell us all what RSS reader you use and why.

The scheduling goddess has granted me a second successive week in Birmingham; West Bromwich to be precise. I was shocked to discover that, following my unfavourable review last December, the Days Inn Hotel has subsequently been taken over by the budget chain, Premier Travel Inn.

My greeting at reception wasn't too promising: 'Ah - Good evening Mr. Brightside. A double smoking room, I believe'. 'Err no. I booked a single, non-smoking room if you have one please.'

I entered my room which was very hot, in fact, it was 'smoking'. The 'Info' button on the thermostat revealed the temperature was a stifling 29.5'C.

I went to open the windows but they were sealed. I went to turn down the thermostat - to a more reasonable 18'C. Ah - that's better. Just unpack and wait for the room to cool down.

Then, unusually for me, I read the small print in the fine manual.

'Set room temperature with 'Up' and 'Down' buttons. This controls the heater operation but cannot cool the room.'

I think it's time to see what price, and temperature, the Boddingtons is served at.

The Sandbox theme recently added to WordPress is pleasant enough but the original themes developed by Scott Wallick from plaintxt.org are absolutely superb.

Clean, white, minimalist, striking, understated and refreshingly different from the thousands of themes out there.

I am interested in IT, technology and gadgets. Not obsessed but interested and curious.

Recently, I find colleagues making increasing use of technology in the workplace to try to help distributed teams to communicate more effectively. Or maybe they're just geeks who are afraid to pick up a telephone.

People use Web conferencing to share desktops.

This is an excellent use of technology. For example, I recently tried to help a customer in Copenhagen by remotely accessing the servers over the network from my kitchen fully equipped home office. The speed was slightly sluggish and the experience was a little frustrating at times but certainly much better than laboriously dictating ('l' 's' 'space' 'slash' 't' 'm' 'p') over the phone or getting on a plane.

I have also used Web conferencing using VOIP which was fantastic as it freed up the fingers to do the actual typing as well as pleasing the financial director.

People also use chat conferencing either instead of, or curiously in conjunction with, the ubiquitous (and much loved) telephone conference calls. I am always a little nervous here in case I direct the wrong words to the wrong person, particularly with my sense of 'humour'.

People also have a increasing tendency to use instant messaging rather than email to communicate internally.

This last development is the one I am slightly uncomfortable with for reasons I find it hard to articulate but I'll try:

• The opening line 'Hi', 'Hello' or 'Are you busy ?'. It's like a blind date. What do you say without sounding idiotic ?
• Sometimes, if you are busy, this interruption and context switch can be unwelcome. Setting your status to 'Busy' doesn't always work.
• The person initiating the conversation normally wants something. It is easier to ignore or defer an email. I find it impossible to ignore an IM indefinitely.
• Sometimes the conversation is so long winded and interactive, a simple phone call would have been 10 times more effective and quicker. Waiting on tenterhooks, with baited breath, in suspense watching 'Alan is typing...' for 2 minutes.
• The termination of the 'conversation' isn't always clear. Have we finished ? Is the dialogue over ? Are they still thinking ? Or are they waiting for you to respond ? Can I close your IM window yet ?
• And finally, the real reason, I suspect - using Instant Messaging conjures up images of angst ridden, spotty teenagers messaging away in txt speak together. You feel slight soiled by the experience. In fact, I am sorely tempted to address #5 by signing off 'C U L8R, M8!'

Take my advice. Never buy flowers for your wife. Ever.

I am working at home, trying to finish a report. I don't have a home office so I work on the kitchen table.

For the last couple of days, two things have been slowly nagging away at me like a dripping tap.

My wireless mouse sometimes loses the will to carry on working at such a frantic pace. It squeakily demands a cup of coffee or just half an hour of 'Richard and Judy'. I stoutly refuse so the mouse pointer slowly descends vertically down the screen which is fairly irritating and virus-like.

So I took the poorly rodent for a 'Well-Mouse Executive Health Check' and the vet insisted that the mouse is in perfect health and the battery level is 'High'. I changed the battery anyway to no avail so now we have to adjourn for 'Richard and Judy' with a coffee every morning. After that, the mouse works fine.

Secondly, there was a horrible, persistent odour disturbing my concentration. I opened the windows. I opened the doors. I even had a shower and used deodorant. Eventually, I capitulated and cleaned the downstairs toilet. But the lingering smell stubbornly persisted.

Finally, I gave in, summoned my daughter and cleaned the gerbil out. The full works. Clean water, new sawdust, change of food, full steam valet and high pressure jet wash on the windows.

Phew - that's better. Sit down to check my email...

God - what is that damned smell ?

And then it struck me. Right under my nose (literally) for the past few days. A vase of (dead) flowers sitting in smelly, stagnant water.

So, next time, beautiful, colourful, fragrant flowers appear on the kitchen table and it turns out Julia brought them when she came round for coffee, don't say 'Oh - how lovely, darling' but 'Just make sure you chuck them out when they're dead.'

Last nights Money Program was about the increasing consumer demand for broadband services and the various options available from the suppliers.

Broadband services from the major players (Carphone Warehouse, BT, NTL and newcomer Sky) were all reviewed for various households with different requirements.

British Telecom has an incredibly strong brand with the older generation. One grandmother on the show simply opted for a BT Video Phone because she implicitly trusts that the service will work because 'it is from BT'.

Another family opted for 'Free Broadband For Life' from Carphone Warehouse. The kids were excited - lightning downloads, more MSN'ing, online gaming. Mum was excited - she could actually use the phone again for hours on end. Even Dad was excited - he was going to save £36 every single month. Quite why he was still paying £15 per month for dial-up wasn't clear.

In fact, they all thought it was too good to be true. And so it proved. They are still waiting for the engineer to arrive despite Charles Dunstone moving them to the top of the massive waiting list.

I have had broadband (Telewest) for so long I had to go and look it up - April 2002.

OK. I own up. Although I have superb taste in music, I can't help but hum along whenever I hear No. 2 on this list.

'Don't Fear The Reaper' by Blue Oyster Cult also falls into the same category.