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I was fascinated by the Can Gerry Robinson fix the NHS series broadcast on BBC2 this week.

Not because I learned a lot about how the NHS works. Not because I was staggered at the simplicity of Robinson's approach. Not because I was surprised that Robinson managed to implement various changes to significantly reduce waiting lists at a Rotherham hospital in just 6 months.

I was fascinated because I have encountered so many of those issues, heard so many of those quotes verbatim and met so many of those stereotypes during 20 years in IT.

• The people who meet any sensible suggestion for improvement with an array of negative reasons why that simply won't be possible.
• The people who estimate that implementing a simple change will take months to implement.
• The retort of 'That will need another meeting to be set up.'
• The senior management who haven't got a clue about the real issues faced by people working on the shop floor.
• The people actually using the system know what the real issues are.
• The lengthy, directionless meetings which agree to 'do something' but don't assign ownership or commit to a date.
• The expensive use of 'management consultants' to tell senior management what they already know.
• Cost cutting in the very areas that need extra resources.

The ultimate irony is that having implemented the changes, re-motivated the staff and significantly reduced the waiting lists, every single poorly person in Yorkshire will now forcefully insist that their GP immediately refers them to Rotherham General Hospital. Consequently, the waiting lists will rocket, Brian James will lose his job, the consultants will revert to their old ways and the job freeze will be reinstated.

However, Gerry Robinson and the BBC will be invited back to film a second series.

Two paltry efforts by yours truly to brighten up everyones morning in the Brightside household.

1. I decided to hoist my boxer shorts as high as humanly possible in the style of Borat (although, disappointingly, mine are black not lime green). You can only imagine my wife's surprise and delight when she (finally) emerged from the bathroom to be greeted by this unexpected and wonderful sight.

2. Fifteen minutes later, following a dramatic and rapid transformation, I have changed into an immaculate dark suit, freshly pressed, crisp white shirt and an expensive Italian silk tie. I lurk outside the lounge door humming the theme music from James Bond. The volume reaches a explosive crescendo and is climaxed with 'The Man With The Golden Gun'.

I complete my preparations by carefully removing my weapon from the black leather sheath and taking off the safety catch. I burst into action and storm into the lounge announcing myself with the immortal words 'My name is Bond - James Bond'.

Then I unleash a burst of rapid fire from my gun to eliminate the three intruders lurking at the bay window followed by a head-shot to eliminate the heavily built Russian henchman, cunningly hidden under the ironing board in the playroom.

I athletically dive to the ground and shoot down the expensive crystal glass candelabra. I throw an impressive triple roll across the carpet to avoid the falling glass. I stand up to reassure the petrified children 'Don't worry. You are both safe now.' Finally, I demonstrate yet another feature of my pump-action machine gun. I casually flick a switch and the telescopic shaft extends, clicks and plumes into a black umbrella.

'Dad. Move. Your stupid umbrella is blocking the telly.'

The year end always sees lots of people post meaningless stats about blog traffic. Unfortunately, I only have tracking data since my move to Bluehost in late September but I am not going to let that stop me. Google Analytics reports:-

• 4,709 visits
• 8,036 page views
• 1.71 pages per visit
• 3,902 unique visitors

[ Note the almost linear growth in visitors over the three months. It took me ages to get that perfect straight line ] Of course, these traffic numbers are bitterly disappointing so, to cheer myself up, I analyze the AwStats reports for the same period. This makes me feel much better.

• 13,738 visits
• 54,266 page views
• 68,858 hits (even better !)
• 3.95 pages per visit
• 6,002 unique visitors

AwStats includes robots, spiders, crawlers and spam automatons whereas Google Analytics only counts human beings (and cats). Worse, Google Analytics filters out my own visits and referrals from the WordPress dashboard (which accounts for 97% of traffic) ! Oh no. What's this ? Feedburner are now offering even more blog tracking statistics and reports.

I have experimented with many different RSS readers in the past. However, in recent months, nothing has managed to dislodge NetVibes as my preferred feed reader.

However, I still occasionally use Google Reader and like the recent addition of detailed statistics about your RSS subscriptions and reading habits.

Matt Cutts posts an example of his own data and Robert Scoble also likes the new features.

Occasionally, I have been tempted to experiment with Google Adsense on this blog. Not because I think I will get rich and be able to retire but I am curious to see how the technology works. Thankfully, to date, laziness, inertia and minimalist tendencies have prevailed.

So I was very interested to read Guy Kawasaki's 12 month review of his popular blog. 'How To Change The World' received 2.5 million page views (slightly more than my humble blog), 7,000 comments (again, slightly more than my statistics) and 2,000 trackbacks (1,999 more than me) in 2006.

For all this effort, I was staggered to learn that this blog, with 4,217 inbound links, 21,000 subscribers and which consistently features in the Technorati Top 100, earned Guy Kawasaki the princely sum of $3,350.

My. How times change. In my day, the philosophy was simple:

• Always be sick in your own time.
• Ensure a newspaper is safely cached behind the toilet cistern.
• Arrive and leave the office 30 seconds before/after your manager.
• Get an urgent pager alert whenever your round is imminent.
• Be quick to claim credit and divert blame.

But no. I have now finally discovered the true Oracle Contractors Philosophy.

Americans see nothing but gloom and doom on the horizon in 2007.

No hang on - wait a minute. From the same poll, Americans are optimistic and hopeful for the coming year.

• January - new sofa
• October - new kitchen table and chairs
• November - new coffee table

I just hope and pray that I don't have to set foot inside a furniture store (or worse, Ikea) in 2007.

Hung from the gallows and simultaneously shot from a camera phone.

Cousin John called with best wishes for the New Year and just wanted to mention the Billy Connolly double CD. He was absolutely delighted with this thoughtful gift and was looking forward immensely to listening to it in the car.

I graciously accepted his thanks and reciprocated by thanking him for my M&S Men's Grooming Set complete with black leather carry case. I assured him that when we next meet, my nasal hair will be trimmed, my bushy eyebrows will no longer meet in the middle and my ears will be fluff-free.

Then he went and spoiled it by claiming 'Just one small problem, Norman. There were no actual CD's inside the case.' He kindly offered to send the empty case back so once again, I am condemned to make the trek into town, fighting with all the bargain hunters, to stand in a refund queue that spans 0.8 miles and requires external (armed) security guards to police.

As an interim measure, I asked him whether he could just enjoy the liner notes and look at the photographs until I manage to resolve the problem.

Norma was horrified. She immediately asked me to call Uncle Robert (lucky recipient of Tony Hancock's Half Hour audio CD). Unfortunately, Uncle Robert also ripped off the wrapping and expectantly opened the CD only to find an empty jewel case with a mysterious note attached: 'More in cupboard.'. He duly went to the cupboard but didn't find any CD's.

I told him this CD captured Hancock's greatest and most surreal work; the ultimate in silent comedy rather than a sick joke by us.