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From a posting in the Google Reader newsgroup

I have (approx) 383,240 feeds...

This post put me in a quandry. I found the video very amusing so I was torn between leaving a grateful comment on Donncha's blog and awarding the article a (Gold) Star in Google Reader.

But if I only did that, my friend and a couple of (ex-) colleagues who might appreciate the joke may miss it. That would be very selfish. Forgive me Father, but briefly, I toyed with reverting to Web 0.1 (beta) and sending an mass email to 'Friends/Ex Colleagues'.

I compromised by posting an article on my blog referring to Donncha's article so he sees the pingback and gets the credit for spotting the video. So Donncha's happy, I'm happy, everyone's happy.

Well - not exactly because I had to write some additional words on my article to justify its existence. This is exactly the situation that Google Shared Items is for. > These items might be interesting or useful snippets of information > quickly noted in passing which I wouldn't necessarily blog about.

I just want to display a RSS feed on my blog for articles like this that I find interesting, amusing or thought provoking. This is trivial to implement in WordPress so I simply grab the feed URL for 'Shared Items' from Google Reader and create an RSS widget to display 'What I am currently reading' on the sidebar in this blog.

Unfortunately, that didn't work. The feed and article names were displayed but the formatting of the links was broken on WordPress 2.1. Curiously, I tried the same configuration on a test blog on hosted Wordpress and it worked fine.

A little research revealed that the WordPress RSS widget does not appear to support Atom 1.0 format (which is precisely the format used by Google Shared Items).

No problem. Just create a Feedburner feed and see if that works. This should automatically, dynamically and intelligently convert the feed format into a format the recipient can digest. Unfortunately, it doesn't. Sigh. Give up in disgust and make a note to ask in the WordPress/Reader forums.

Only you can't give up. You want this to work and this is now a challenge.

Read the Feedburner FAQ which implies that SmartBurner is what you need. This automatically, converts the original feed format for the consumer on the fly. However, SmartBurner is enabled by default so I wonder why it isn't working.

Examine the configuration of SmartBurner. By default, the output feed preserves the format of the original feed (Atom 1.0 in this case). However, it is easy to force conversion to different format (RSS 2.0) by setting the 'Content-Type'.

Revisit the WordPress RSS widget. Success !

So, after all that time and effort, I sincerely hope you both enjoy my 'Google Shared Items' feed.

Throw away that Mavis Beacon touch typing CD.

This hilarious video shows that speech recognition is the key to (not so) rapid application development.

Reminds me of working in tech support and the torture of spelling out Unix commands over the phone to customers.

When I returned from evensong last night, after I had ironed five shirts and read a bedtime story to my loving (but strangely uncommunicative) teddy bears, I sat down with a hot cup of Horlicks to enjoy two hours of high quality Sunday night viewing.

I don't know why but I have always had an interest in 'conspiracy theories'. When I was a lad, I was convinced that

• Marilyn Monroe was killed by the Kennedy brothers.
• Ashley Grimes was a undercover Manchester City spy.
• JFK was assassinated by Norma Jeane Mortenson from the grassy knoll.
• UFO's had landed at Roswell and probably deposited Ashley Grimes.

Of course, that was then. This is now. Back then I was a boy. Now I am a man (sort of). With the passing years, I have matured and changed my beliefs accordingly.

• 9/11 was instigated by the US government in order to invade Afghanistan and Iraq.
• Lady Diana (Princess Of Our Hearts) was assassinated by an Italian Pizza chef, driving a white Fiat Punto on the orders of Prince Phillip (The Greek).
• Kurt Cobain's death was directly or indirectly arranged by Courtney Love.

Imagine my horror, when last night's BBC Conspiracy Files tells me that 9/11 was the work of Al Qaeda terrorist cells coupled with failings by the US intelligence services.

This revelation shocked me. I was stunned. I was struggling to assimilate this bombshell which opened to question so many of my dearly held beliefs. To ease the pain, I poured the Horlicks down the sink and cracked open a Grolsch.

I quickly switched channels to FA Cup Match of The Day in an effort to restore a sense of normality. Another conspiracy - Manchester City had avoided an FA Cup giant-killing and beaten Preston.

That's it. I can't take any more. I am going to bed. Only I couldn't. I had to stay up to watch another deep, probing, investigative BBC program to finally which would surely prove that I am not clinically insane and confirm (or at least keep faintly alive) just one of my conspiracy theories.

Unfortunately,'The last 48 hours of Kurt Cobain' proposed the ridiculous assertion that Kurt Cobain was a manic depressive, heroin addict in denial with wild mood swings, depressed at his sought after fame and cult status, desperate to escape an unhappy marriage but simultaneously petrified of being denied access to his two year old daughter.

After another brief and unsuccessful attempt in rehab, Cobain embarked on yet another drug binge in Seattle before penning a suicide note and shooting himself in the head with a shotgun.

So the fact that Cobain's body had massive amounts of heroin that would have rendered him incapable of pulling the trigger, the fact that another hand wrote the closing line 'Please keep going Courtney, for Frances' and the curious fact that Cobain carefully tidied away his drug paraphernalia when dead are all just examples of yet another conspiracy theory.

OK. OK. I give in. Please stop hurting me, Brin. I now realise that resistance is futile.

Look I did what you asked. I have now converted to Google Reader. Please, no more. I will do anything you want. Please, Sergey - let my wife go.'

Even my son (newly hired Google enforcer) has now installed Google Desktop and is busy indexing the entire contents of the PC.

Just about the only remaining product in the Google portfolio I don't use is Adsense.

Am I a fully fledged Google whore yet ? If not, what else do I need to do ?

'Oh no - you've discovered I am not using Blogger. No Sergey. Please. I beg you. Please, Brin. Show some mercy. Not the pliers and electrical cord. Please stop. Aaaarrgghhh. I give in. Please stop now.'

I am a big fan of Netvibes but also follow the ongoing development of Google Reader with interest. Increasingly, I find myself tempted to convert to Reader permanently.

• Speed - Google Reader has a set of keyboard shortcuts that make scanning a large number of feeds quick. Really quick. While Netvibes also offers keyboard shortcuts, out of habit, I tend to use mouse-clicks to navigate between tabs and articles.
• Flexibility - You can read related blogs that are grouped together (e.g. Oracle, Wordpress), read an individual blog or quickly skim over a river of news.
• Sharing - Occasionally, I want to save an article for future reference or potentially sharing with others. These items might be interesting or useful snippets of information quickly noted in passing which I wouldn't necessarily blog about. The most obvious place to mark these items is right here in the RSS reader as opposed to a static bookmark. The list should (obviously) be visible as an RSS feed. Google's shared and starred items make this easy (single keystroke).
• Flexible interface - I really like the full screen mode and the options for 'list view' where articles are condensed apart from the current article and 'expanded view' (all articles are expanded).
• Statistics - I can't decide whether the trends page about your personal reading habits may actually be useful or just a gimmick.

Here's a Flickr set of annotated screenshots to illustrate the functionality in Google Reader and the flexibility of the interface. I think the recent addition of subscriber counts to Google Reader will show that Reader has a substantial and rapidly growing share of the RSS reader market. Stowe Boyd and Tom Raftery are already noting a Feedburner spike as a result.

Interestingly, Darren Rowse notes that subscribers from Google Reader/Desktop/IG already heavily outnumber the established and popular Bloglines reader.

Looking forward, one feature I would really like to see in Google Reader is feed discovery and recommendations based on readers with common interests and similar reading lists.

In recent weeks, I have been peppered with increasing amounts of spam to my Blueyonder account despite the fact that I rarely use or divulge this email address.

I guess I have become spoiled by Akismet and Gmail which both do such a sterling job of automatically detecting spam.

Anyway, it turns out Blueyonder do have a spam filtering capability. If you log onto Webmail, under Options, there is a section called 'Anti-spam and Antivirus Preferences'.

Make sure the 'Enable Spam Checking' box is checked. You can alter the default spam sensitivity to be 'High' and set the option to tag the email subject with [SPAM].

Then you can create a message filter in Outlook Express or Thunderbird to automatically dump such messages to a separate folder for periodic review.

Yesterday afternoon at 16:09, in Surrey, a sales rep in a red Vauxhall Vectra shunted a plumber driving a white van on the middle lane of the M25. Twenty years ago, the following cars would have quickly stopped to allow the protagonists to pull over to the hard shoulder.

Twenty years ago, a heated exchange would ensue. Then both parties would calm down and exchange insurance details. Twenty years ago, the white van driver would resume his journey while the Vectra owner waited for a tow from The AA to a local garage to replace his pierced radiator.

In 2007, Surrey Traffic Police handle minor traffic incidents very differently. The busiest motorway in England is completely closed while Surrey Traffic Police determine precisely how many lanes need to be closed in order to handle this earth shattering incident.

Eventually, after 19 minutes analysis involving 7 officers and a Chief Superintendent, Surrey Traffic Police decide that, in the interests of public safety, just two lanes need to be closed so the outer lane is slowly re-opened on Britain's busiest motorway. This is now the start of the rush-hour so the queues are building fast but Surrey Traffic Police are completely oblivious to this element of the unfolding drama.

Surrey Traffic Police continue to call for reinforcements from other regions while they carefully and thoroughly evaluate this very dangerous situation. Both drivers are instructed to remain in their vehicles while paramedics are summoned. Counsellors are invited to diagnose and remedy post-traumatic stress disorder.

Chemical engineers are dispatched from a secret government research laboratory to conduct experiments on the liquid spilled on to the carriageway. A high priority call to building contractors is made in case the roadway surface needs to be replaced which would mean a very welcome overnight closure (and overtime). A newly qualified cone engineer arrives to check no plastic cones have been damaged.

Early evening is the height of the rush-hour. The tailback is now 6 miles in both directions and growing. The M3, A30 and surrounding roads are now also affected. Four hours after the original incident, 8pm sees a shift change for Surrey Traffic Police. Three policemen volunteer for overtime to see this major incident through to a successful conclusion. Another decides he will miss Dragon's Den so fires up the siren and speeds off at 70 mph down the hard shoulder.

The chemical engineer decides the liquid from the car radiator is water with a small element of anti-freeze. Surrey Traffic Police decide to wait a further 25 minutes to let the lukewarm water cool down. The driver is cautioned and a sample of windscreen washer fluid is sent for analysis.

All three lanes of the motorway are now completely gridlocked so, unsurprisingly, The AA recovery vehicle can not get through. Surrey Traffic Police decide to use their powers to expedite the situation and summon their own recovery vehicles instead. Due to operational difficulties, they are summoned from Birmingham.

Eventually, at 21:15, the middle lane is carefully re-opened and a trickle of traffic starts to flow. A policeman makes calming gestures to the impatient drivers and is met with a volley of V-signs.

After another two hours, the motorway is fully re-opened and the UK can breathe again. Thanks to Surrey Traffic Police for averting yet another major traffic incident and keeping Britain's roads safe.

Last year, I went to Norway and was enjoying a scenic five hour drive from Bergen to the fjords through a multitude of dark, narrow, winding tunnels carved through solid rock. Suddenly, the traffic came to a halt shortly before the entrance to another tunnel

To my horror, I could make out a collision between a car and a coach with a solitary policeman in attendance. As I waited, I consulted my Phillips Map of Europe; when this tunnel was closed, we would have to make a diversion which would turn a pleasant scenic 5 hour drive into a nightmare, 12 hour drive.

After 7 minutes, a breakdown truck arrived and towed the car out of the tunnel. The coach then exited the tunnel and parked in a lay-by. The policeman ran (take note Surrey Traffic Police - yes he ran) to his patrol car, fetched a brush, ran (yes ran) into the tunnel and frantically brushed debris and glass to the side.

As he emerged from the tunnel, he frantically waved his brush at cars and lorries to get moving quickly in an effort to get the traffic flowing again as soon as humanly possible.

Email

1. You use ELM on a VT220.
2. You use Emacs and Gnus.
3. Corporate standards force you to use Microsoft Outlook and you don't even mind.
4. You use Gmail for all work and personal email.

Documents

1. Quill and parchment.
2. XEmacs.
3. Microsoft Word with 37 macros.
4. Microsoft Excel for all documents .
5. Google Documents for all correspondence.

Newsgroups

1. What are newsgroups ?
2. You use Emacs and Gnus.
3. Your company doesn't run an NNTP server for security reasons.
4. Newsgroups are just another data source mashed into your aggregator.

Home Page

1. Blank - just like your mind.
2. SourceForge
3. Personalised Google home page.
4. Multiple Firefox tabs that take 4 mins to initialise.

Browser

1. Lynx on an amber VT220.
2. Emacs and W3
3. IE 6.0
4. IE 7.0 - feverishly hunting for the File menu.
5. Firefox 3.0 (alpha)

O/S

1. Ubuntu Linux with self-modified device drivers for wireless support on an old 386.
2. Emacs.
3. Windows XP - to provide technical support to all your relatives.
4. OS X because all your trendy Mac friends can't be wrong.
5. Vista because you really do need to manage all those photos of your cat.

Social networking tools

1. Five-a-side followed by the pub.
2. Emacs mailing lists.
3. You are a fan of Ajax but only to clean the sink.
4. You have gold membership on Flickr.
5. You spend more on Skype than your landline.
6. A 'mash-up' is when you play with your food.
7. You finally book an appointment with your GP about your 'long tail'.
8. You think TechCrunch is a breakfast cereal.
9. You think 'First Tuesday' is an investigative TV program hosted by Trevor McDonald.

Blogging platform

1. Large text file in Emacs.
2. Embryonic, unused corporate Wiki.
3. Blogger Beta (101 Oracle bloggers can't be wrong).
4. Hosted WordPress with Snap plugin.
5. Self-hosted WordPress with custom theme and 347 useless plugins.
6. Irritating tendency to send humourous 3MB attachments on a Friday afternoon to colleagues, friends and family.
7. Wooden crate in corner of Hyde Park.

Employment

1. You have 10 years service for a large IT company and a silver pen to prove it.
2. You are a successful, highly paid company director, err, well a mercenary Oracle contractor.
3. You demand money to mind visiting fans' cars at the City of Manchester Stadium.
4. You have founded four failed startups but, undeterred, are contemplating the next.

Answers:

• Mainly 1 - you are stuck in an 80's timewarp.
• Mainly 2 - you probably have a beard and may well be Richard Stallman.
• Mainly 3 - you are a technology Luddite.
• Mainly 4 - you are a Web 2.0 aficionado.
• Mainly 5 - you count Matt Mullenweg and Robert Scoble as close friends.

Student fined £80 for making a 4 foot penis in the snow.