Virgin Media email has been down for 48 hours and counting… I am not looking forward to explaining this (again) to Norma tonight. She seems to hold me personally responsible and keeps asking ‘What is wrong, why haven’t they got in touch, why is it taking so long to fix it and when is it going to be fixed ?’ This is a complete CRM disaster from Virgin Media. No meaningful updates in over 2 days. ...

Obvious really. The FA and the police should have seen the disorder at last night’s Carling Cup tie between West Ham and Millwall coming. Nothing to do with East End rivalry. Nothing to do with Millwall’s notorious hooligan element. The problems were started by lengthy queues at all cashpoints in the vicinity of Upton Park before kick-off. None of these professional Cockernees could decipher the rhyming slang.

Most of the Australians I met on my recent holiday were brilliant people; friendly, welcoming, great company and most possessed a very British style sense of humour. However, there was one element of my Australian experience that was slightly irritating; the tendency for people to ask questions. For example, if you ever purchased goods in a shop using a card, you were immediately greeted with ‘Credit or savings ?’ Another fine example was the following exchange one early morning at Brisbane airport where I attempted the seemingly simply task of purchasing four hot drinks as we waited for a short flight to Hamilton Island. ...

Most companies I viist have a (subsidised) coffee shop so I am used to waiting for my morning coffee and hearing a wide variety of exotic concoctions called out to the eager, caffeine starved workforce. ‘Large Mocha’ ‘Tall, skinny Latte’ ‘Overpriced Tea’ ‘Decaf Americano’ ‘Espresso with an extra shot’ ‘Frothy Cappuccino with extra froth’ ‘Pomegranate Peach Frappuccino’ But this morning, I was privileged to hear a new and exciting drink announced. ...

‘Anyone suffering from the desire to communicate what they are doing or thinking every minute of the day in fewer than 140 characters is best described as a twat.’ Janet Street Porter calling me a ’twat’. Possibly my proudest moment. I prefer to define µblogging as ‘an infinite byte stream of inane drivel’ but I also enjoyed Stephen Fry’s post on the same subject: ‘40% of Twitter is “pointless babble”, which means of course that a full 60% of Twitter discourse is NOT pointless babble, which is disappointing.’ ...