Answered by our roving reporter, Kenneth. Posts by month. Draw your own conclusions.

I am jet-lagged because a customer asked me to fly, at short notice, from Newcastle to Belfast at 07:05 on Wednesday morning. I had a suspicion this was important because when I told the client that my flights between London and Newcastle were non-refundable he replied ‘I don’t care about that. Just get on a plane to Belfast.’ Initially, I was harbouring hopes of watching Newcastle play Stoke City in a Cup Replay on Wednesday evening and I was about to politely enquire about the possibility of departing early on Thursday morning when the project manager added: ‘Oh and take anything you might need to install Siebel and clone our existing environment on to brand new, standalone infrastructure.’ ...

I was almost tempted to let Kevin Keegan’s re-appointment as manager of Newcastle pass without comment. After Mourinho’s departure, the Premiership (and the media) desperately needs some more characters and soundbites. However, I just read that since his departure from Manchester City, Keegan has been running a football circus. YCNMIU. The ideal preparation for his latest role. And just for old times sake, take a second to remember this classic (in full). ...

Howard When Tim Hall ‘tagged’ me, my initial, instinctive gut reaction was: God- what an infantile, puerile idea. There’s no way I am going to participate in that ‘meme’. The concept wasn’t new to me as I’d already seen Scoble and those Web 2.0 PR types participate in similar mindless activities which I just chose to ignore. However, my reasons for objecting were slightly different from yours. Normally, I despise being told what to so and what to blog about. Similarly, whenever my various employers announced a ‘Dress down Friday’ which was gleefully received by my colleagues, I would purposefully don a suit and tie. After all, a uniform on a Friday is still a uniform. ...

‘Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It is 25 years, 3 months and 47 days since my last confession.’ According to Feedburner, Tim Hall’s Oracle blog aggregator has 723 avid readers. One of those readers summoned up the courage to send me an email complaining about my continuous off-topic posts. Apparently, the straw that broke this particular camel’s back was my participation in the evil ‘8 things’ Oracle TagFest. Forget the fact, my blog is not currently aggregated by OraNA which is purely a temporary oversight by Eddie and will be rectifed imminently (once my cheque for $250 clears). ...

Reading: ‘Thunderbolt Kid’ by Bill Bryson. Growing up in the States in the 1950’s. This opening (recursive) quote sets the tone beautifully The State Senate of Illinois yesterday disbanded its Committee on Efficiency and Economy ‘for reasons of efficiency and economy’ - Des Moines Tribune, 6 February 1955 Watching: This is England. Growing up in England in the 1980’s. A superb film.

REM - Country Feedback ‘Crazy, all the lovers have been tagged.’

Yesterday, Norma collided with another car in a SW London rat-run. The lady took Norma’s details. I mourned taking out a high excess (£250). We were both thankful no-one was hurt, then I flew to Newcastle and forgot all about it. This evening, I spent 45 minutes on the phone discussing the fact that nothing had happened The lady never called. The insurance company never called. Nothing actually happened. Nothing else was discussed. Why did this call take 45 minutes ? ...

Tagged by Tim Hall. In my first year at University, I had a lecturer who was male. When I returned for my second year, he was a woman. My first brush with the police was at 14 when I crossed Chester Road against police orders and a copper said ‘Think that’s funny, eh ? Would you still think it’s funny if I took you into that van and kicked your head in ?’ I have seen United win (1977), draw (1983) and lose (1995) in an FA Cup Final. The Hillsborough disaster saddened me but when The Independent posted photographs of people crushed against metal fences, gasping for breath, dying, I broke down and cried like a baby. Most of the people I care about now live in Australia. Slowly but surely, I am getting the message. I am the only person in my family not to have broken a limb. I have stood on the top of Ayers Rock. I joined a gym on 1 December 2007. Since then I have lost 1 stone q but I’m sure it will turn up somewhere.

After thoroughly enjoying watching Arsenal defeat Sunderland at the Emirates, I resolved to get off my barstool and try to get to see more live football in 2008. Consequently, I have just purchased two tickets (South Level 5) for England versus Switzerland in a friendly on Wednesday 6 February. Of course, I already know what the outcome will be but I am keen to visit the new Wembley Stadium and show Norman Junior what real England supporters are like. ...