This superb photograph from NASA gives me a taste of what I missed.

Finally. All that painstaking effort creating multiple splogs, scribbling my blog URL on whiteboards at every client I visit, commenting twice daily on the ‘A’ listers, spamming the newsgroups and bribing people for inbound links has paid off. This humble blog has finally broken through the 100,000 barrier. > Day 324. Technorati Rank: 96,498 (56 links from 32 sites) Poor old Doug (a lowly 1,389,569) needs to pull his finger out. My life is complete. Almost.

This lunchtime, after getting my phone past security, I visited the toilet at the same client’s offices. I was staggered to see a sign above the urinal that had another red ‘No Entry’ sign that said: ‘STOP ! If you wish to use this space, please call Facilities Management on Ext 3131. Reference TZ 864’ So I dutifully stopped, zipped my flies up, walked to the sink and called Ext 3131. ‘Hello. I would like to use the space - reference TZ 864’ ...

This morning, I was waiting at reception in a client’s offices and was filling in time by casually reading the various notices. One, with a red ‘No Entry’ sign, caught my eye: ‘STOP ! If you are in possession of any camera equipment, please call Group Security on Ext 4141’ ‘Group Security. Alan speaking. How may I help you ?’ Good morning, Alan. Norman Brightside here. I just wanted to let you know that I have a camera.’ ...

Saturday 1 July Get sent off. Lose to Portugal on penalties. After the game, Sven is absolutely distraught. He is inconsolable, head in hands, weeping quietly, alone in the corner. I feel guilty and go over to apologise. ‘Sorry, boss. I have left myself down, let the team down, let the country down, let the fans down and I have let you down.’ ‘I can’t believe it. 22 players, 6 assistant coaches and 15 FA officials and no-one thought to get me a leaving present’ ...