Steve Irwin - You had a passion for wildlife that truly brought it alive. Andre Agassi - You sobbed uncontrollably on a tennis court.

Back in the old days, things were very simple. We had a camera. We took photographs. We sent the prints away to BonusPrint. We discarded mistakes. We filed the photos in albums. We ordered duplicates for grandparents. Best of all, my involvement in the whole process was negligible. Then some idiot invented the digital camera. We still took photos but the whole issue of printing became more complicated. You could be adventurous and attempt to print on your inkjet printer at home. This would result in ludicrously sized and distorted A4 images, drenched in ink, that gave small children nightmares. ...

Congratulations to Paula Radcliffe who is pregnant. Let’s just hope she doesn’t give birth squatting down on the roadside.

Tough week. Lots of driving to and from the bleak, industrial North. Lots of head scratching, pouring over computers and log files, talking to different people, all working together to try to fix a difficult, long standing, non-reproducible, high-profile problem. Arrive home. After the emotional reunions, hugs and tears, I am immediately asked to fix a difficult problem that is (thankfully) reproducible. Son took advantage of my absence to buy another PC game. Game launches splash screen and immediately crashes. ...

Dear Red Lorry You are a similar size to yellow lorry. You are a similar weight to yellow lorry. You have a similar size engine to yellow lorry. When yellow lorry slows down going up an incline, the laws of physics mean that you are also likely to slow down. Consequently, there is little point attempting to overtake yellow lorry. Unless you shed your trailer or engage turbo boost mode, you will simply hog the middle lane. You may eventually pass yellow lorry on the flat after 17 minutes and 9.4 miles. Alternatively, you may have to abort the manoeuvre and lose face. ...