BBC Breakfast ran a story this morning about the sale of woodlands. The gentleman responsible for selling woodlands was quite a comedian. He started his act with:
'In these difficult economic times, people are looking to invest in woodlands to hedge their bets...'
and then, referring to the potential investment opportunity and without a glimmer of a smile, he delivered the immaculate line
'In a few years time, once the wood has matured, people will see that you can get income from trees'.
One of my favourite United players - for his sublime skills on the pitch and the modest, understated way he conducted himself off it. Thanks for all the memories, Paul.
The ticket allocations for the London 2012 Olympics havent been announced yet so I don't know whether Ill be watching Tom Daley competing in the 10m platform diving semi final on 9th August.
If I do, I'll be sparing a thought and probably shedding a quiet tear for Tom Daley's dad, Rob, who lost his 5 year battle against a brain tumour yesterday.
Last year, I enjoyed a BBC documentary about Tom Daley where his Dad interrupted a formal press conference to give his son a big hug, thoroughly embarrassing him in the process. You could just sense the immense sense of love and pride Rob Daley had in his son.
Sadly, he will never get to see him compete at the London Olympics. 40 years old. Sometimes life just isn't bloody fair.
For many years, I have flitted between a plethora of different blogging platforms mainly out of curiosity, boredom, frustration or occasionally sheer bloody mindedness.
I have lost draft posts in WordPress, Tumblr, Posterous and Habari due to network glitches, browser crashes, my own stupidity and a broken AutoSave plugin.
One night in a lonely hotel room, the realisation suddenly dawned on me that my frustration with all of these blogging platforms was that I spent a lot of time in the post editor and none of the post editors did what I wanted.
Whether you use Tumblr, Posterous, WordPress, Habari, Drupal, Movable Type, Django-Mingus or another esoteric blog platform, you normally find yourself composing content in a Web browser within a blank text box writing raw HTML.
Alternatively, you might be using some WYSIWYG editor that helps you insert the appropriate HTML tags.
There are a few things wrong with this scenario as far as I'm concerned:
After reading, but steadfastly ignoring multiple articles about Markdown for many months and making a mental note to investigate further, I finally set aside 10 minutes to do so.
Without being over dramatic, Markdown has changed my life. For the better.
Markdown is a markup language ('geddit ?') that uses a easy to read notation as shorthand for HTML.
The beauty of the Markdown syntax is that text written in the Markdown format is perfectly readable. This makes reading, scanning, reviewing and editing text much easier and quicker.
I'm a simple man with simple tastes so my blog posts primarily use paragraphs, lists, hyperlinks and the very occasional image.
A hyperlink in Markdown looks like
[Markdown](http://daringfireball.net/projects/markdown/syntax)
A blank line indicates the end of a paragraph. Again, this is how we compose text in emails and is so much more natural than
</p>
<p>
The HTML tags above are a pre-formatted block. In Markdown, this is simply denoted by a 4 character indent.
To emphasise a word, you simply enclose the word in asterisk characters which is what a lot of Luddite, bearded Unix geeks tend to do anyway. Using two asterisk characters will result in bold text.
Similarly, if you want to force a line break you simply append two blank spaces to the end of a line.
Code blocks are enclosed by backquotes.
printf("Hello World\n");
Bulleted lists are introduced by a hyphen or asterisk character so a list of my favourite fruits would be written as:
* Apples
* Oranges
* Pears
* Bananas
Ordered lists use numbers and look like, well, ordered lists.
1. Giggs
2. Scholes
3. Cantona
Quotes are also easy and intuitive introduced by the '>' character.
> Are you still doing what you did 5 years ago ?
> Yeah ? Well don't make a career out of it.
> Mark E. Smith (The Fall)
Most blogging platforms either provides native Markdown support or has plugins available to provide such functionality.
However, the real beauty of Markdown for me is that Emacs inevitably has a powerful Markdown mode that provides font colouring, additional menu shortcuts for the common constructs and a feature to examine the generated HTML in an Emacs buffer or preview the results in a Web browser.
This is incredibly useful for me as I can quickly check the generated HTML and even validate my blog posts. Validating my posts wasn't easy before as the addition of the Disqus Javascript code generates a number of warnings from the W3C validator.
Chatting with a good friend over dinner last night, he recounted how his son ambushed him late one Sunday night with some economics homework that he'd somehow manage to overlook and which simply had to be submitted the following morning.
Annoyed, and after dispensing a severe bollocking, he reluctantly sat down and gave his son some lengthy help with the complex and thorny topic of
'How does monetary policy affect the economy ?'
A week later, his son mumbled 'Oh yeah - I got that Eco essay back today and got a 'C' for it'.
My friend has a first class honours degree in Economics from the University of Warwick, has spent 26 years working in finance and banking and is currently a senior economic analyst for the leading fund manager, Gartmore.
My - how we laughed.
These are indeed exciting times in the Brightside household:
When I heard that Arsenal were busy making plans for their injured and oh so inspirational captain, Cesc Fabregas, to hoist the trophy aloft and end 6 barren years without a sniff of a trophy, I had a horrible feeling it might end that way.
Can you imagine the suspended United captain, a grey suited Roy Keane, doing that back in 1999 ? Can you even imagine Ferguson even contemplating that option for just a second ? No. Neither can I.
Sarah Baskerville is a civil servant who works for the Department of Transport in London.
Back in November, there was a minor storm in a teacup when the Daily Mail caught Sarah caught posting the shocking revelation to Twitter that she 'Had a hangover' whilst at work. In addition, she occasionally had the temerity to dare to question Government policy.
Unless you are a Daily Mail reader, none of this is very newsworthy. I suspect the vast majority of people with a Twitter account have posted inane drivel along the lines of 'At work. Hungover. Need coffee'.
It's clear from reading her blog that Sarah Baskerville is an intelligent, educated, experienced lady who cares about her job and is passionate about improving things. Why - she even gave up her own time on a Sunday to attend a work related conference so I certainly don't begrudge her tweeting from her workplace. There, but for the grace of God, and all that.
Nor do I really care that she dares to criticise Government policy - I'd rather that than some mindless, faceless drone implementing Government policy unquestioningly - or that she admits she is looking forward to going home after a hard day. Who doesn't ?
What I find interesting about this story is the fact that Sarah Baskerville then proceeded to lodge two complaints with the Press Complaints Commission (PCC) about the Independent on Sunday's (not the Daily Mail) subsequent coverage of a small selection of Sarah's postings on Twitter.
In her complaint, Baskerville claimed that she had a 'reasonable expectation that my [Twitter] messages...would be published only to my followers'.
As someone active in multiple social networks (Baskerville's Web site portal lists a total of 20 social networks), it is simply inconceivable that she didn't know how the Twitter service worked and a Tweet was immediately posted and visible on a public Web site on the Internet.
Baskerville has even written an excellent article about the use of social netwoking tools in Government and how they could be used to engage more openly with the public so she clearly understands how Twitter et al function and how these services disseminate information quickly to a wide audience.
Sarah Baskerville isn't some 16 year old school leaver working in Greggs bakery posting on Facebook that 'Mr. Grimsdyke told me off for being late again. I hate that man' and then being surprised when she subsequently receives a complimentary 'steak bake' together with her P45.
If Sarah Baskerville truly wanted her messages to be visible to her Followers, she could have easily have achieved this using a private Twitter feed but I suspect she simply didn't bother because she thought no-one was listening.
Of course, not many people click through to read the small print when they rush over to sign up on Twitter to follow Jonathan Ross. However, maybe Sarah should take time to read the full version of the Twitter Terms of Service
The Content you submit, post, or display will be able to be viewed by other users of the Services and through third party services and websites (go to the account settings page to control who sees your Content).
The same warning is even summarised in a top tip - 'What you say on Twitter may be viewed all around the world instantly' which, for most people, is exactly the point.
I suspect Sarah Baskerville was fully aware of this possibility but didn't bother as she freely admits she simply didn't expect to be 'targeted' (her words) by the Daily Mail and subsequently by the Independent on Sunday.
The original news story broke in November and it appears Sarah Baskerville still has her job and I sincerely hope she doesn't get dismissed over this episode.
Yesterday, the PCC rejected both of Baskerville's complaints agreeing with the Independent's damning assertion:
The complainant was not, said the newspaper, "someone who for some reason was able to use the technology but unable to realise the consequences of making her life so public.
However, I also suspect Sarah Baskerville lodged her complaint with the PCC in order to prolong her 15 minutes of fame, thinking that she was striking a hammer blow for freedom on behalf of all individual bloggers and workplace tweeters everywhere. Winning her case would result in media coverage, worldwide gratitude and acclaim and somehow make a name for herself.
She certainly succeeded in doing that. The name is 'idiot'.
Dear Fat Controller
Occasionally, I use South West Trains to commute from my home in sunny Norbiton into the City of London. However before you say anything, don't worry, I am not a merchant banker despite what my friends say.
Today, in an attempt to secure a seat, I delayed my departure slightly and caught the legendary 08:36 service from Norbiton. Unfortunately, I narrowly missed a highly prized seat when a rather forceful gentleman, who boarded after me, miraculously managed to reach the last vacant seat 0.74 seconds before me. Bastard.
According to the official South West Trains timetable, which is proudly pinned up in my downstairs lavatory, this service that leaves at 08:36 should take 30 minutes, precisely, arriving at its final destination at 09:06.
Today's journey left on time and arrived at Waterloo at 09:14 - a mere 8 minutes late. This isn't 5% late. This isn't 10% late. This isn't 20% late. This delay of 8 minutes on a 30 minute journey represents a delay of 26.66667%.
Still, I guess I should be grateful that the cost of my weekly TravelCard (Zones 1-5) has only increased by a paltry 6.81% from £44 to £47 from January 1. If the Financial Controller from South West Trains saw these metrics, he may well (incorrectly) conclude that if the trains run 26% late, then the cost of the ticket should rise by the corresponding percentage.
During our extended, tedious, never ending journey where we frequently came to a grinding halt outside a station or lingered for four thought provoking minutes adjacent to that cemetery near Clapham Junction, I am pleased to report that we were afforded the courtesy of the occasional helpful announcement from the guard: 'Ladies and gentlemen. We apologise for the short delay but we are being held at a red signal. We hope to be underway again shortly'.
The thing is - this delay isn't a one-off. This isn't a delay caused by the inclement weather we experienced before Christmas. This sort of delay is now routine.
In fact, these delays are so routine that people don't even moan any more. People just shrug their shoulders, scurry along the platform onto the tube network and accept this poor service as the norm.
Thankfully, I don't have an annual season ticket and I am not condemned to using South West Trains every single working day. I am an occasional commuter but whenever I do use the service, it invariably arrives late. Once it was just 12 seconds late - if only the driver hadn't lingered at Wimbledon reading the football reports in 'The Mirror'.
Now, I guess it would be an interesting exercise to keep detailed metrics for all my journeys in order to support this bold claim with statistical evidence that could then form the basis of a compensation claim.
However, I refuse to do this for two reasons; firstly I simply can't be arsed and secondly that way lies danger and obsessive compulsive train-spotter disorder (OCTSD). Before you know it, I would be stood, wearing an anorak, on a wet and windy, desolate platform 11 at Clapham Junction late at night holding a video camera, desperately trying to capture the rare '337919' engine that powers the Gatwick Express.
Obviously, I don't want to waste your time and money by forcing you to issue a stock response to a yet another stock complaint from 'Mr. Angry Commuter from Redhill' so here's my constructive suggestion in order to significantly improve the service between Norbiton and Waterloo.
Simply increase the planned duration of all journeys between Norbiton and Waterloo to 45 minutes. Currently some journeys are scheduled to take 28 minutes while others are supposed to take 30 minutes. This inconsistency needs to be addressed.
Altering the timetable in this way will help ensure that all journeys arrive not just on schedule but ahead of schedule as in early.
This seemingly minor change will have multiple benefits; commuters will disembark, happy and smiling, consulting their watches and exclaiming '8 minutes early. Again. How fantastic. What a marvellous service. I really must email South West Trains congratulating them on this sustained improvement in the service'.
Following this modest increase in the estimated journey times, customer complaints will rapidly fall to zero. This means you can sack all the people in the customer service centre with a corresponding beneficial effect to the very important 'bottom line'.
Finally, and perhaps most importantly, South West Trains will meet all their performance targets and you will be eligible for your massive financial bonus and a well deserved promotion to 'Morbidly Obese Controller'.
Hopefully, you will consider this suggestion and implement it initially on a pilot basis on the Shepperton line, If, as I am convinced it will be, this change proves to be a success, this novel and innovative change to make the railway timetable actually reflect reality can be rolled out across the entire network in 2012. Just in time for the Olympics.
Yours sincerely
Norman Brightside
This blog and the handful of modules I use has been upgraded to the final version of Drupal 7.0 which was released today.
I was quite pleased that I used Drupal 7 from the early beta versions and then tracked the D7 release candidates as this gave me valuable experience in upgrading Drupal 7 relatively quickly while preserving my additional modules without losing all my data which always helps. It's worth noting that although I barely scratch the surface of Drupal 7's wide range of functionality, the quality, reliability and performance of Drupal 7 was perfectly fine for this blog.
Personally (and rather selfishly), I hope that the formal release of Drupal 7.0 will encourage more developers to upgrade which, in turn, which provide impetus for more Drupal modules (and themes) to be ported and made available for Drupal 7.
Dries Buytaert, the founder of Drupal, posted a interesting set of reviews looking back on 2010 with his hopes and predictions for the coming year for: