Posts in category "football"

I was interested to read that David Beckham suffers from OCD and simply can not abide an odd number of ~~lines~~ cans of coke in his fridge

I have a similar obsession about cans of Grolsch in my fridge. 0, 2, 4, 8 but never 1, 3, 5, 6 or 7. If we ever get an odd number, I simply ~~drink 'em~~ scold the offenders soundly and banish them to the cupboard (where odd numbers only are allowed).

Similarly, rounds in the pub simply must be equalized by close of drinking otherwise I come out in an angry, red rash.

I also must practice free kicks and penalties for 7 hours a day until I actually score one before I go home for my tea. So when England exit the World Cup on penalties in the quarter finals (again), it certainly won't be my fault.

If the hoovering is not done, then I immediately summon my army of maids to do it before I can even contemplate sitting down for my tea with Posh and the kids.

Now, did I put the gerbils out ?

Lee Trundles smile after Swanseas victory (in the Sunday Pub League Final played at, of all places, Cardiff) couldnt be any wider without fracturing his jaw. But what I love about this story most is the following statement by Swansea FC's chairman, Huw Jenkins:

'Maybe it was a heat-of-the-moment thing'

Possibly, but given Lee Trundle had gone to the trouble of getting a T-shirt printed with a cartoon depicting a person urinating over a Cardiff shirt, that seems a little unlikely.

I just watched Arsenal beat Juventus 2-0 in the Champions League. I dont support Arsenal. I dont really care whether they win or lose. I only watched the game to kill two hours on a slow Tuesday evening in Newcastle.

In March last year, however, I was also working away from home in Gothenburg (near Sweden), watching a different game I passionately cared about.

Here is the barstool correspondent's verdict on Inter Milan 1 MUFC 0.

Well this time last year (but a month later) I witnessed United's departure from the European Cup in a bar in Amsterdam and this year it was Gothenborg's turn.

The night started badly when we couldn't get into the Sports bar as we hadn't booked a table. Good start.

Then my Swedish colleagues took me to an Irish bar which was showing the Ice Hockey playoffs as Gothenborg were playing. Nice one.

So we sat down to eat and I was promised that the hockey would be over soon and I could see the 2nd half. Great. Thanks for that. Food took absolutely ages - it was only a burger for Pete's sake and when it came 40 mins later the chips were bloody cold. Thanks for that.

Eventually got to see 2nd half. We never got close to a shot on goal. 2 games and hardly a shot on target let alone any goals.

Their spawny goal looped over Tim Howard but still, at least we have got rid of Roy Carroll. Yeah Ruud wasn't fit, Giggs got a nose-bleed, Rooney is too young, Scholes had two bad games, Keane is fine in Premiership but too old for this level, Ronaldo's a greedy, showboating teenager but let's see some PASSION and FIGHT. We needed to go out and win tonight's game !

And now we have to put up with Chelski and their oh so clever manager in the media for 2 months !

PS. Did you happen to see Lyon's result 10-2 versus Werder Bremen - yes that is not a typo 10 goals against 2 goals. So Fergie's squad rotation against Fernabache doesn't look quite so clever now, does it ?

Djibril Cisse (tattooed neck, ridiculous shaved head) celebrating his superb, individual, match winning goal (err, well, a converted penalty) in front of the Gallowgate End at St James Park by removing his shirt to remove a grubby white vest declaring his undying love for his wife, his cat, God, Robbie Fowler, his late gerbil and dearly departed Lady Diana, Queen of Our Hearts.

After all, I mean, his last goal was last year (28 December 2005) so that vest must absolutely stink.

13. Years since Manchester City reached the quarter finals of the FA Cup.

30. Years since Manchester City last won a trophy.

The best football banner in the world was very simple and understated - just two large digits at the Stretford End. The number was incremented on or around 28th February each year.

The banner is no longer at Old Trafford (following the Glazer takeover) but can still be seen at FCUM matches apparently. Easier to get tickets too.

Some football fans change allegiance and cheer on other British clubs in Europe. I dont. Good bye, for another season, to the translator.

The Mayor of Liverpool announced that there would a extraordinary 5 minute silence held across the city tomorrow at 12 noon.

A special religious service will be held at the Anglican Cathedral and the two remaining Beatles will reunite and record a special version of '(Please) Let It Be (disallowed)'.

Robbie Fowler will indicate the start and end of the silence by holding up five fingers. This is the number of European Cups that Robbie Fowler has watched Liverpool win on TV.

Guests of honour at the service will be Boris Johnson, Phil Neville and his father, Neville Neville.

Counselling will be available in job centres across Liverpool for those affected by the tragic events at Old Trafford on Sunday afternoon.

Elsewhere in Manchester, people will not be bleating, moaning and endlessly complaining about being taunted by Robbie Fowler holding up various numbers of fingers to the away section in their recent 3-1 defeat at the Council House.

If you give it, be prepared to take it.

I am fortunate that my job takes me to lots of exotic locations (Prague, Bergen, Amsterdam, Munich, Oslo, Nice, Paris) and now, err, West Bromwich.

The last time I was here was in October 1981 when I attended a game at The Hawthorns between West Bromwich Albion and Manchester United. The game got underway and the United fans started a chant:

Oh I do like to be beside the seaside Oh I do like to be beside the sea

Oh I do like to walk along the prom, prom, prom

And say, GO HOME West Brom

Only, 'Go Home' was substituted for a different, more colourful phrase in the English vernacular to the same effect.

Anyway, as the game was pretty uneventful, the United fans kept repeating the last line ad infinitum which was quite funny.

Next thing I knew, a policeman grabbed hold of me and my mate and escorted us both down the steps to the pitch, through a gate and led us away.

I was stunned into silence but my mate was more vociferous repeatedly asking 'What had we done ?'. This was understandable as he was a Brighton fan who had just come along for something to do and wasn't even singing.

We got led away alongside the pitch, past the United fans who applauded us (for some odd reason) and were taken to the police control room. The copper asked us for ID and took our names. He then cautioned us. We protested that we had done nothing and weren't even singing the obscene chant.

To my amazement, the copper said 'Yeah. I know but we had to do something to quieten things down'

Then I realised that we had been ejected from a football match because we happened to be standing adjacent to an aisle (easy access for the coppers without having to pull us from the middle which might provoke more trouble), the coppers knew we were together as a pair (and not in a larger group) and precisely because we were not the types to be cause trouble.

We were then kicked out into Handsworth Road where youths were lobbing stones into the United section and the copper warned us 'Listen. You've been cautioned. But if you enter the ground again and I see you, you will be arrested'.

So we ran the gauntlet of stones back to the station. As we did so, inevitably we heard loud cheering from the away end.

We got home and were soon ~~safely wrapped up in our beds~~ back in the pub, drinking hard, regaling our friends with the anecdote in the pub as we learned the final score. 3-0 to United.

The Glazer takeover was not the end of an era. Manchester United is a PLC not a football club.

The departure of Roy Keane was not the end of an era. Players (even great ones) come and players go.

The death of George Best was not the end of an era. Death and taxes.

However, last night's 2-1 defeat to Benfica in Lisbon just might be.

Not a brilliant week if you are a United fan...

A few years ago, I was drinking in the Chelsea Potter on the Kings Road and a mate said Thats George Best sitting over there. I replied 'Yeah, right'. I looked across to the bar and saw a plump, bearded figure sitting on a barstool, clad in a hideous blue shell-suit, sipping a Coke. I was stupefied. After a while, he finished his drink and left. I was still gawping at him like a lovestruck teenager and I swore he smiled at me on his way out.

Thanks for all the memories, George. RIP.