Uk

Three, err, lucky people won the following, err, prize at the recent Oracle Partner Network day at UKOUG in Birmingham. ‘3 lucky winners have won a “Virgin Experience Voucher” to the value of £140.’

‘Norman. Come here. I have a crisis. Quickly.’ ‘What’s up ?’ ‘I have a flat tyre.’ It is dark. Mainly because it is 7.30 at night. I sigh inwardly and get a torch. ‘Hmm. You’re right. That tyre really is flat. Didn’t you notice the car pulling to the right ?’ ‘No. The car was driving fine. Norman Junior did say that the car was leaning and he kept falling over though.’ ...

Last night, I enjoyed a pleasant evening in this pub with a few friends. We watched a mediocre team in white draw with a mediocre team in orange and blue socks. Beer arrived on a regular basis from the downstairs bar via the dumb waiter. Inexplicably, towards the end of the evening, conversation turned to songs about the death of a father:- The Verve - Drugs Don’t Work The Streets - Never Went To Church Mike And The Mechanics - The Living Years U2 - Sometimes You Can’t Make It On Your Own Billy Bragg - Tank Park Salute We finally left the pub and someone asked ‘What are the chances of finding a curry house around here ?’. We looked across the street and our prayers were answered. Weird. ...

Next year, I will be attending an unusual fireworks display in Sunderland. A long trip from London, admittedly but I am absolutely certain it will be worth it. ‘The body naturally produces methane gas, so combine that with the firework and the exploding effect with methane’s flammability…’

I never used to work from home much. When the kids were younger, my wife was at home and without an office, quiet room or even a shed, I found it difficult to concentrate. Accessing the work network over dial-up also was a significant constraint. Now things are different. My children are both at secondary school and leave the house before I do. My wife also works and I have a broadband connection and VPN access to the office network. So, occasionally, I can save two hours commuting, sit down with a decent cup of tea, be productive and still be back home in time for tea. ...

A few years ago, on a Saturday morning, I was crossing the road to the local shop with my daughter, Norma Jean. We held hands to cross halfway and paused. Suddenly, spontaneously, without warning, Norma Jean decided to burst across the road. Unfortunately, a car simultaneously decided to sharply turn left without indicating. It all happened quickly - very quickly. The car ran over Norma’s foot and she collapsed. The car stopped and the lady pleaded: ‘Oh God. I didn’t see her. I didn’t see her. I’m sorry. She just ran out.’ ...

For Sale: 1.8 kg of assorted sweets. The surplus of confectionery is the result of an unfortunate trick or treat incident a few years ago. The wife and I had argued for many hours over who was going to escort our two young children, dressed up in Halloween outfits, carrying pumpkins to demand money with menaces from neighbours. The alternative was even worse - to stay at home and answer the door to similar young, lovable street urchins. ...

Doug Burns posts a typically honest article about the art of self-promotion and the issue of references. Personally, I think Doug’s blog is itself an excellent tribute to his technical competence, his ability to communicate and share information as well as offering an insight into his personality. I must confess that my manager’s Inbox is not overflowing with glowing testimonials from colleagues and customers, let alone unsolicited ones. I used to reassure myself that this was because IT managers are exceptionally busy people with (justifiably) high expectations when paying for expensive consultants. Nowadays I just put it down to my lack of technical ability. ...

Many thanks for your lovely, thought provoking email. Unfortunately, I am currently on annual leave (although I couldn’t resist the temptation to check my work email when the wife wasn’t looking tonight). I will reply to your email on my return on Monday 30 October. Well, actually I won’t. If it was sent to a mailing list, I will probably skip it but may dig it out from the archives in a few months when I am onsite desperately looking for a solution to the identical problem. ...

Something I didn’t watch: Longford Something I did listen to: The Smiths’ Troy Tate sessions