Posts from November 2010

In my job as a roving IT consultant, I have given a number of technical presentations about Siebel. During that time, I have learned that I am much more comfortable presenting material and content that I have created myself. I have also presented slide-decks used by technical pre-sales. This has occasionally led to detailed questions arising about a very innocuous looking bullet point which I was unable to effectively answer; not a comfortable situation.

Occasionally, I have delivered technical workshops about a very specific area of the Siebel product set that was tailored to a customer requirement for a module that is not covered by a formal course offered by Oracle Education. I have thoroughly enjoyed this type of work as I find it stimulating and very rewarding. I also felt the customer also found these workshops useful and valuable.

Last week, I gave a 2 day workshop about EIM (Oracle's ETL tool to bulk load data into a Siebel OLTP database) and I actually created some practical lab exercises to give the attendees some hands-on experience of failing to load data using EIM. I'm being serious here - I firmly believe it is very important to be exposed to the different classes of errors and idiotic mistakes when trying to achieve a seemingly straightforward task of populating a single customer record.

I visited the client's offices the day before to check the logistics and the Siebel environment provided for the workshop. I also took the sensible precaution of completing the various exercises myself. To my horror, I discovered at 3pm on the day prior to the workshop that EIM wasn't actually functional in the customer test environment. Thankfully, I discovered this was due to a missing Service Pack for the Microsoft SQL Server database which resolved the problem and saved me from a very embarrassing situation.

Whenever I've attended training courses, I've always felt slightly uncomfortable whenever the instructor went walkabout and hovered over my shoulder as I struggled with the syntax of ‘ALTER TABLE'. Consequently, when I set the attendees loose on the first exercise, I tried to take a back seat and only help if someone requested assistance.

I am not a teacher - in fact, I am a lousy teacher as I have precious little patience - and I am not a trained instructor. However, I was quite curious to see how different people attacked the problem. One chap was feverishly reading the manuals, typing at speed, running the tests, examining log files, iterating in an effort to win the race. One of his colleagues had a rather more considered approach and I noticed he chose to take time to assist his neighbour who wasn't as far forward. Another attendee was very methodical and thorough; he essentially created a full source-target mapping in Excel before he did anything else and was completely unfazed by the progress of others around him. Another gentleman reminded me of myself - he was bludgeoning forward at breakneck speed, making mistakes (syntax errors), immediately fixing them and iterating rapidly.

I approached one gentleman quietly beavering away in the corner who had actually completed the original exercise but hadn't shouted ‘Eureka' or called me over to praise his efforts. Instead, he was now creating a data set of 10,000 customer records to see what throughput he could get compared with the performance of the existing custom COM based data loading tool.

All in all, a very enlightening exercise. Psychologists would probably classify each type of individual with a special name (‘Starter-Finisher').

Back in May, I went along to my sons school to hear James Cracknell speak. Cracknell is an old boy of KGS and went on to become a double Olympic gold medalist. Since his retirement from rowing, Cracknell has embarked on a series of endurance challenges. Cracknell supplements his income by writing for the Daily Telegraph and also gives after dinner speeches about his adventures as well as motivational talks at corporate events.

On a balmy May evening, I entered the school building and was pleasantly surprised to see free champagne being dispensed to guests on arrival. I stepped forward to the temporary bar to claim my complimentary glass of bubbly. ‘Are you a Governor, Sir ?' ‘Err, no.' ‘Well - are you with the VIP party, Sir ?' - the gentleman gestured to my right where I saw the Headmistress chatting with Cracknell. ‘Err, well, err, no.' And with that, the smartly dressed waiter, nodded disdainfully towards the Sixth Form Common room where I was able to claim my free class of orange squash in a plastic tumbler.

If Norman Junior III had been with me, this exchange would have been excruciatingly embarrassing for him but sadly he couldn't be bothered coming along.

Before the main event, I paid a quick visit to the toilet and I noticed James Cracknell, still politely chatting with the VIP's, wearing an immaculate charcoal grey suit, with a spotless white collared shirt and no tie. To my horror, my eyes were drawn to his feet. He was wearing trainers. One of my pet hates - idiotic commuters wearing suits and trainers. Oh well, he's won two Olympic Gold medals so I guess he can wear whatever he likes.

Cracknell was a very personable, engaging, natural speaker and treated us to a quick run through his career including his Olympic triumphs, an insight into the level of commitment required to succeed at the highest level of competitive sport and his trip to the South Pole. Sensibly, Cracknell supplemented his talk with lots of photos. Interestingly, he seemed to focus on his occasional failure (fourth in the rowing World Championships in 2003) as much as his many successes.

James Cracknell is a very articulate, modest and amusing man. He described failure at the World Championships as ‘doing what we normally do. Train like hell for two years, getting up at 5am to get onto the water on those dark, freezing winter mornings, qualify, get to the final, push yourself to the limit, cross the finish line then stand on a podium standing next to your best mate [Matthew Pinsent] who is crying like a baby. Again'.

When Cracknell was selected to join the coxless four for the 2000 Olympic Games in Sydney, he was the newcomer into an established boat with Olympic Gold Medalists, Steve Redgrave (4 Gold Medals) and Matthew Pinsent (3 Gold medals) Understandably, he was a little intimidated by these two and German coach, Juergen Grobler, attempted to reassure him

‘Listen, James. You are strong. You are an excellent athlete with great stamina and rowing technique. However, in this boat, you are sitting behind Matthew. He is a better rower than you, stronger than you with more stamina. All you have to do is follow him. Just do what he does. Follow his stroke. Follow his every move. When he eases off, you ease off. When he pushes the rate up to 43, you push the rate up to 43. Matthew is hung like a horse.'

A few months later, Cracknell was recounting this story about Juergen's motivational chat to Redgrave who smiled and said “I think Juergen probably said ‘He has lungs like a horse'.”

Cracknell then described his first endurance event when he rowed across the Atlantic with Ben Fogle. Towards the end of the race, the satellite radio wasn't working properly so the pair could only get daily updates on their position and the state of the race.

One call told them they were now positioned second with 36 hours to go. Fogel's reaction was ‘Second - brilliant. What an achievement. Fantastic !' whereas Cracknell's immediate reaction was ‘Right - let's stop these 3 hours on (rowing), 45 minutes off (rest) shifts and switch to 4 hours one, 30 minutes off and see if we can win this bloody thing'.

Cracknell then solved the mystery of the immaculate grey suit and trainers. He had recently returned from the Marathon Des Sables endurance event where he had finished 12th in a race, the highest ever placing for a Briton. During the 151 mile race across the Sahara desert -, his feet were badly blistered - Cracknell showed an awful photograph of his red raw feet after a day in the desert which he described as ‘slight chafing' - which explained the trainers and his slight limp as he took to the stage.

Cracknell answered a question about how he motivated himself and he referred to a note scribbled on a blackboard in a History classroom he had seen earlier that evening on a tour of his old school. Some wag had written 'All things must pass' which summed up his attitude pretty well.

[ After I saw Cracknell, I was shocked to hear he had been knocked off his cycle by a speeding truck when attempting another challenge to cross the States in 18 days, rowing, cycling and running. Cracknell was seriously ill with head injuries but thankfully is now making a good recovery. ]

This blog is now running on Drupal 7 (beta 3).

Currently Disqus comments are absent but I am hoping the Global Redirect module and the Disqus crawler will remedy this given time.

Most of the modules I require are available for Drupal 7 apart from FeedBurner so I have just re-pointed the feed for now.

Let's see if this appears on the other side.

I will probably convert to using MarkDown markup in due course too.

Main reason for ditching Habari was the lack of user forums.

I was recently in a pub when a lady looked expectantly at me and said ‘Fancy a whip for this ? I looked a little taken aback and hesitated until she helpfully clarified ‘A kitty. For the drinks. Shall we have a whip round and Ill then buy some drinks. In a very polite British way, I proffered a ten pound note and said ‘Oh that will be great. Thanks for sorting that out. A pint of London Pride for me, please'.

Whereas what I really wanted to say was. ‘We are two couples having a quick Saturday night drink after watching some amateur dramatics featuring some friends. It's five past ten so we'll probably have two drinks. Why on earth should we contribute to a kitty ? You buy us a drink and I promise that we will reciprocate.'

There are many different problems with these whiprounds and kitties:

• Someone has to manage the money.
• Someone, normally the fastest drinker, always ends up thirsty as, like a training course, the pace is governed by the speed of the slowest person present. If girls are involved, you can actually die of thirst and lose your kitty contribution.
• People always think things are cheaper than they actually are so are sceptical when the demand comes round to top up the kitty.
• As the night progresses, people become less inhibited and contribute massive amounts ‘Here's £50. That should sort it for a while.'
• At the end, the kitty has to be sub-divided and the proceeds returned to all contributors. This is a variant on the ‘splitting the bill' syndrome at a restaurant - only more complicated and time consuming. Forget the last train home. You've missed it. You're getting an expensive taxi. Still, at least the drinks were equitably divided.
• I once had the misfortune to be appointed ‘Kitty Treasurer'. This was a complete nightmare because people expect you to continually go to the bar. Time after time because ‘you've got the whip'. I never spoke to anyone but the bar staff all night.

So please don't invite me into your ‘kitty' or contribute to your stupid ‘whip'. This is the correct and proper way to ensure a night of trouble free, enjoyable drinking:

• Get in a round with mates who drink at vaguely your rate. With blokes this doesn't matter as slowcoaches simply accrue 5 full, untouched pints while the rounds continue to be brought over to the table regardless.
• Ensure the rounds are ‘equalised' by the end of the night. This means that everyone in the round buys the same number of pints. I can't emphasis the importance of this enough.
• Choose the size of the round appropriately. If you're in a group of 4, you need to prepare to sup 4,8, 12 or even 16 pints.
• Large groups can lead to livers the size and colour of George Best's. Consider splitting large groups into 3's or 4's.
• Don't skew the financial calculations by having a crafty ‘Southern Comfort' on the penultimate round because ‘I'm a little full of beer'. Just drink pints. You're a man. That's why you're in a pub not a wine bar.