Posts from May 2010

Hi Norman. You and I havent spoken before so please excuse the intrusion. However Sandstone Search & Selection are a specialist recruitment consultancy, focused on the Enterprise Software and Consulting markets. Im keen to find out if youre open minded about your career please let me know. Rupert Smithers-Jones

Hi Rupert. Yes - I am pretty open minded about my career and would consider anything apart from pole dancing. Norman.

Hi Norman. Excellent news ! Ping me when you have 5 minutes free to chat about an exciting opportunity. Rupert

Rupert - I typed 'ping rupert' but my computer reported an error 'rupert is not responding'. Kind regards, Norman

Norman - What would you say to an opening in pre-sales consulting for a major, established blue chip based in London with some international travel ? Rupert

Hey Rupert I don't wish to be rude but I think I'd rather be considered for the 'pole dancing' role. Do you have any such openings for tasteful pole dancing - maybe at corporate events for IT companies. Although I relatively new to the business, I do have a copy of 'The Full Monty' on DVD. Does that help ? Norman

Norman - You're confused. I'm a executive search and selection specialist charged with head hunting the most talented and elite IT professionals for the top FTSE 100 companies in the UK. I don't find temporary jobs for pole dancers. BTW What is your notice period ? Rupert

Rupert - My notice period is one month but I wouldn't be available for any new role until 1 September when I get out of hospital - Norman.

Norman - I don't wish to pry but what is the nature of your medical procedure. It might affect the package I can secure for you - Rupert.

Rupert - Please don't worry - it's just some minor surgery I'm having done in Belarus. It the fourth and final part of my transgender operation. From 1 September, I will be henceforth be known as 'Norma-Jeane'. This will most certainly affect my package and strong pain killers will be required. Do you want an updated CV now to forward to the client ? Thanks, Norman.

Norman - This conversation is now over. Sorry to have troubled you. Rupert. PS. If you know of any colleagues, relatives or numerate pets who might be interested in IT jobs, please let me know. There's a case of 12 bottles of mixed French wine on offer for each successful placement.

Rupert - please don't act like a bear with yellow trousers, red jumper and a sore head. I had a chat with my 'life coach' last night and we decided that the time is ripe for a fresh, new challenge. I need to be excited when I when I go to work. I need to be stretched (but gently). I need to be stimulated again (but gently). Therefore, I am now looking for a Linux system administration role or exotic dancing. Ideally, full time Linux Sys Admin for a charity and part-time dancing at night. The main reason for the transgender process was the increased earning potential available to female strippers. This will enable me to get enough money together for the 'pole dancing' classes. Please let me know - Norman.

Norman - My colleague David is responsible for Linux recruitment. He really likes the look of your CV and is confident he has a fantastic opportunity. Do you have a beard as this would almost certainly secure an interview ?

Yes - but only before 1 September.

After weeks of anticipation, the day finally dawned - Thursday 6 May and The Nationals concert at the Royal Albert Hall.

Ive been to the Albert Hall once before when I went to see Cirque de Soleil. On that occasion, I was wearing a jacket and tie (family birthday) and was perched precariously in the upper circle which gave me vertigo.

I had some reservations about seeing a proper concert here and had disconcerting images of posh people in dinner jackets, sitting down, politely applauding an acoustic set. Anyway, I got the tube to High St. Kensington, stopped off at the Goat Tavern for a quick drink en route.and then made my way to the famous venue next to Imperial College.

I had a brilliant seat down in the stalls to the left of the stage and thankfully although there were a few city types in suits, I didn't spot any dinner jackets or bow ties. As we waited for the band, I heard two blokes talking loudly about the logistics of getting a taxi afterwards and watched people queuing for Hagen Das ice-cream. Who said 'Rock'n'Roll' was dead ?

At 9:15pm, the various band members took the stage and opened with 'Mistaken for Strangers'. Thankfully, I think Matt sensed the slightly subdued, reserved atmosphere and came forward, urging everyone to stand up which immediately made for a much better time for everyone.

The National don't travel light on tour. The band is formed of two pairs of brothers; Aaron and Bryce Dessner (guitars), Bryan (drums) and Scott Devendorf (bass) together with with singer Matt Berninger. In addition, Padma Newsome plays violin, keyboards and, at one point,some sort of accordion contraption. The ensemble is completed by a brass section (trumpet, trombone).

Occasionally, I've tried to pinpoint why I like The National so much and the two main factors are Bryan Devendorf's metronomic, unceasing, crisp drumming (which is usually high in the mix) and Matt's thought provoking, ambiguous lyrics. As the crowd became more appreciative and vocal, the band proceeded with a brilliant set throwing in old favourites from 'Alligator' and 'Boxer' together with most of the songs from the yet to be released 'High Violet'.

Matt joked about the cavernous and imposing size of the venue ('I wrote this song in a small room like this') and then proceeded to forget the lyrics to 'Baby - we'll be fine'. He tried again before the band aborted the attempt and moved on to 'Afraid of Everyone' ('Don't worry - this is a new one and I know the lyrics').

Not surprisingly, the acoustics and sound was brilliant although a neighbour also wanted to 'turn the drums up' and the band performed two of my favourite songs ; Conversation 16' and 'Apartment Story'. Like most of Matt's lyrics, 'Conservation 16' can be interpreted in many different ways. It sounds like a love song ('You're the only thing I ever want anymore') but then savagely turns into a loveless, broken, hate-filled relationship ('I was afraid I'd eat your brains Cause I'm evil').

It's clear the band are musical perfectionists - in recent interviews the band make it clear the production process is slow, iterative and laborious and scrupulous attention is paid to every last detail. To be honest, although I like 'High Violet', I do find some songs rather bleak; 'Sorrow' in particular. In fact, at times, you find yourself reaching for Joy Division's 'Closer' in an effort to lighten the mood. However, some of the 'High Violet' material which left me lukewarm was completely transformed when performed live ('England').

Also, although I absolutely love the song, I find the lo-fi mix of 'Terrible Love' on 'High Violet' so ropey I can hardly bring myself to listen to it. Again, I read in interviews that Matt wanted to cut out all the shouting (e.g. 'Abel' on 'Alligator') and the band were also keen to create a less polished production than on 'Boxer'. Personally, I think the production and quality of 'Boxer' was so immaculate, so perfect I would have used the same studio, the same producer, the same instruments and worn the same lucky underpants.

However, Aaron seemed to deliberately favour the raw, unpolished version of 'Terrible Love'; in fact, he acknowledges that, even after the weeks of mixing, some completed 'High Violet' tracks are very close to the original demo tapes. Anyway, back to the concert and the band closed with 'Fake Empire' and returned to the stage for a magnificent encore comprising:

• Vanderlyle Cry Baby Geeks - one of the lighter, more accessible songs from 'High Violet'.
• All the Wine - one of my all time favourite National songs musically and lyrically.
• Mr November - Matt went walkabout way out into the lower circle for this one.
• Terrible Love - superb with all the additional musical elements.
• About Today - the only song I had never heard before - an extended guitar jam slowly building to a crescendo.

It was weird hearing 'Mr. November' which was used in Barack Obama's presidential campaign on election day in Britain and hearing hundreds of people screaming in unison:

I'm the new blue blood I'm the great white hope. I'm the new blue blood. I won't fuck us over, I'm Mr. November. I'm Mr. November, I won't fuck us over.

I didn't bother taking any day tripper, tourist photos but David Emery has some fantastic photos of an unforgettable night.