Another article in this occasional (and extremely popular)
series.
Sorry about my homework, Sir. I have actually finished my 1500 word
essay on the Black Death but when I went to print my work out last
night, the folder called 'My Documents' was locked.
At first I thought my Dad was playing another of his funny, little
tricks so I screamed down the stairs 'DAD - WHY ARE YOU SO ANNOYING ?'.
Then I had to wait because he was watching 'The shirts of 66' and could
not be disturbed.
Then my Dad had a look and couldn't get my Word document either. He
muttered darkly about some hacker who had somehow accessed our PC
despite him having paid good money for Norton Internet Security (which
was a load of rubbish and would be going back to Dixons for a full
refund tomorrow) and supposedly locking down our wireless network so
securely that my Mum can no longer use it.
I summoned up the courage and asked him whether he actually could get
my homework back because he works in IT and he once told me he was a
'consultant'. Or should I just start typing now.
He replied 'Hang on a minute, son. I have just found a file named
'INSTRUCTIONS HOW TO GET YOUR FILES BACK' that might be relevant'. Then
he went a funny colour and shouted at the screen:
'Virus...Hackers...Ransom...Archiveus...Russian drug mafia'
Apparently, he could have got the file back but is too mean to pay the
5,000 dollar ransom demanded by the Russian hackers just for my essay on
the Black Death.
So, you see, Sir that is why I haven't done my homework. I know it
sounds a little far fetched but it's
true.'
'Sorry. Brightside. Please stop telling lies. Detention tonight after
school and I'll be speaking to your parents.'