Posts from December 19, 2006

Sorry Sir but I havent done my homework because I have really bad stomach ache.

How the big clubs approach the problem...

Manchester United - Alex Ferguson chooses to invite Jose Mourinho to the boardroom to share a bottle of expensive Portuguese wine. Pointedly applaud United fans who chant 'Your coat's from Matalan' on the way to the tunnel. Then shut up and assemble a team that actually looks capable of challenging Chelsea.

Liverpool - Appeal to the House of Lords, the Citizen's Advice Bureau and the European Court of Human Rights after Mourinho has the audacity and bare faced cheek to put his finger to his mouth after a Chelsea goal in the Carling Cup Final. Hold a annual 5 minute silence at Anfield for all those fans suffering post traumatic stress disorder as a consequence.

Arsenal - Arsene Wenger is so busy abusing match officials and getting embroiled in fisticuffs with small-time managers of small-time clubs, he forgets all about the mind games. Go to the back of the class.

Everton - Take legal advice after Mourinho accuses your centre forward of falling over a little too easily. Go running to your mummy in tears when this fails and everyone laughs at you.

In the 1980s, some ladies chose to wear dark trouser suits and blouses in an effort to match their male counterparts in the workplace. This fad was known as power dressing.

One of my least favourite films is 'What Women Want' starring Mel Gibson. I also thought Kurt Cobain looked pretty cool in a dress and Dave Grohl managed to carry off wearing a bra (and a baseball cap) without looking ridiculous.

So, in the interests of equality and as a concerted effort to break down social and gender stereotyping, I decided to visit a client today wearing a dress. It started out pretty well with several wolf-whistles from builders on the way to the station.

However, it simply took me an age to arrange everything in the right place to get my photograph taken for my visitors pass and people tended to stare at me, look distractedly out of the window and avoid eye contact (more than usual).

The whole exercise was a very interesting experiment but, suffice to say, one that won't be repeated.

The disciplinary hearing is on Friday afternoon which also means I will miss the Christmas party. Sigh.